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Football

23rd May 2018

The ‘English Freddy Adu’ nears move to Major League Soccer

USA Soccer Guy on Rooney's move to MLS

Soccer Guy

 Self-proclaimed ‘soccer expert’ USA Soccer Guy (on Facebook and Twitter) returns to give us his unique take on the news that Wayne (Dwayne) Rooney is on the cusp of a move to Major League Soccer.

English guy Dwayne Rooney finally looks to have earned a shot at the big time.

Now kinda old, the former Manchester Unity goalshot inserter is set to leave the English EPL League and board an airplane to awesomeness as he heads on over to Major League Soccer’s D.C United.

Rooney kicks a soccer ball real hard

A move to Washington is an opportunity to realize a dream for Rooney, who was compared to Freddy Adu when he was just a kid. Adu started out at D.C before soccering for a whole bunch of franchises right around the world, also playing for Philadelphia Union. Although Rooney’s career has never hit the same kinda heights, he was often dubbed as the ‘English Adu’ as he broke outta the Unity’s kids’ teams way back.

Rooney will finally get the chance to emulize Freddy Adu

Rooney became an undeniafiable legend for the Manchester Unity, winning a bunch of EPL World Championship rings, the Euro Soccer Cup and – the highlight – the International Soccer Cup . He also scored a whole lotta of goalshots and overtaking Saint Bobby Charleston as the franchise’s all-time inserter. His ability to find the ballbag also saw him do soccer for the England Soccer Club, also beating Charleston’s Three Lines scoring record.

Saint Bobby Charleston catches a game of soccer with Pip Guardiola

After a real long time at the Unity, Rooney left the Old Trafford Center last year to head on over to Evertown. He did some nice plays for the Candies, but their soccer fans have been kinda mad this year. After his lame-ass soccer coaching, Super-sized soccer coach Humomgous Sam got fired and it now seems that Rooney is set to go follow him outta Mercytown.