The difference in Wayne Rooney’s views on Mings’ stamp and Zlatan’s elbow is comedy gold

Oh Wayne.

In fairness you'd expect nothing less of a seasoned pro with a very vested interest, but the stark difference in his attitudes towards both incidents is priceless. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney was never going to be absolutely frank about Manchester United's Zlatan Ibrahimovic, was he now? The Red Devils' home draw with Bournemouth was about as full of incident and intrigue as it is possible for a 1-1 draw to be, and it was Zlatan and the Cherries' Tyrone Mings who made the most headlines - despite the fact it was the away side's Andrew Surman who was actually sent off. A stamp by the latter and elbow from the former had everyone talking about retrospective punishments. With utter conviction and commendable comic timing, Wayne Rooney only half agreed. He was palpably disgusted by Mings' heinous actions, arguing:

"I was right there and it was wrong. In football that's wrong. I think everyone likes to go into tackles in the game...but to try and stamp on a player's head? It's wrong and there's no place for it. I am sure there will be punishment for it after the game..."

Strong words of indictment indeed - no messing about there at all. But miraculously, his 20/20 vision and righteous indignation disappeared altogether when reviewing Zlatan's misdemeanor.

"I think both players went for the ball. To be honest, I was out in the corner at that time. What that going on in the box? Yeah, I was out in the corner so I didn't see that one. I'm sure if anything has happened, people will have their opinions on it. But the one I saw? I've been on the end of studs to the head and it's not nice. I am sure it will be looked at and right punishment will be given."

If you ask us, Rooney deserves the Man of the Match award for keeping a straight face whilst saying all that. https://twitter.com/SarcyFringehead/status/838044489906257920