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27th Mar 2017

Ray Parlour made one crucial error when naming England’s World Cup XI

Oops

Darragh Murphy

There’s a handy little trick we’ve discovered when naming football teams.

To ensure that you don’t pick more than eleven players (football teams are made up of eleven players), first name a goalkeeper.

That’s the first step!

From there, use your eight fingers and two thumbs to select the ten outfield players (you should have ten digits, if not consult a doctor).

It’s as easy as that really.

It’s a great, simple system that has yet to fail us but former Arsenal midfielder Ray Parlour didn’t employ it when he was asked to select England’s best XI for the upcoming World Cup.

England sit top of Group F, with their 2-0 victory over Lithuania on Sunday continuing their undefeated qualification campaign.

And speaking to talkSPORT about who manager Gareth Southgate ought to pick in Russia, Parlour made one crucial error.

“I would play three at the back, although you need to give yourself options so it could go to a back four,” Parlour said, as transcribed by The Sun, and we’ve taken the liberty of counting out his picks as he goes along…

“I would have Joe Hart (1) in goal. Then John Stones (2) and Gary Cahill (3), and I would give Michael Keane (4) a run out. He played well in Germany.

“Then there are also the options of Chris Smalling or Phil Jones.

“But I would have Kyle Walker (5) on the right and Danny Rose (6) on the left if he’s fit. I think Rose would go ahead of Ryan Bertrand.

“Then Jordan Henderson (7) and maybe Eric Dier (8). I’m looking at how Chelsea play with N’Golo Kante, Nemanja Matic and Cesc Fabregas. I would change it.

“If you’re not playing against Germany or Spain, and instead someone like Scotland, you can afford to put more midfielders in. Ross Barkley and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain are options.

“Then I would have Raheem Sterling (9) on the right. Dele Alli (10) has got to play just behind the front.

Adam Lallana (11) has become very important. And then Harry Kane (12) up front.”

At least ‘The Romford Pele’ was able to see the funny side of his mathematical mistake when it was pointed out by one Twitter-user.