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07th Jun 2017

Phenomenal tale of ‘pub league’ side blagging their way into playing an international team

The scrum-half was 78 years old

Ben Kiely

This answers the age-old question, ‘could your local team beat an international team?’

Even if it’s an underage team of a nation not exactly known for producing quality rugby players, the answer is more than likely ‘no’.

A listener of BBC’s Simon Mayo Drivetime sent in an outstanding confession of how his local team managed to play an exhibition match against Spain’s u23s just before the 2003 World Cup. 15 years ago, Rob chanced his arm to try to play a team in Spain as part of their annual team-bonding trip.

As he was in charge of the tour, he went through the Spanish RFU to arrange a team to play against. However, Rob’s overselling of his own team came back to bite him in the ass.

“I explained to ‘Jose’ (the Spanish RFU official) that the game was of extreme importance as we needed to undertake some hot weather condition training in order to remain at our peak level of fitness. I may also have mentioned that some of our players needed match time in the hope of getting an international call-up in time for the 2003 World Cup.”

The official contacted Rob to inform him that he had organised a game just 45 minutes away from their base in Benidorm and that a coach had been booked to take them to the venue.

“The tour started well with the international law of drinking at airpors at 6 am kicking things off nicely followed by a day of fun and yes, more drinking throughout Friday… On Saturday we went to the local waterpark, got asked to leave for reasons which can be left to another confession and then headed out into the town for another night of hydration and team-bonding.

“The night went on and we were enjoying the local hospitality of bars and clubs, and before we knew it, the night was coming to an end. Leaving the nightclub we thought it was getting a bit light. We realised it was 6 am, which meant we were due to be picked up in less than four hours to play a game of rugby.” 

At that stage, it was decided that the best course of action was to stay up for their coach. When the time came, they were greeted by the president of the Spanish RFU, the local mayor, the sports minister for Costa Blanca and ‘other such dignitaries’. They were under the impression that they were a National League 2 side, not a County League 2 side, some 26 divisions apart.

Gold already, and we haven’t even got to the match yet.

The team got on the bus and headed out of Benidorm to meet their opponents. Upon arrival, they found out they were scheduled to play Spain’s u23s in front of a few hundred spectators.

“The average age of our team was 38, staying below 40 thanks mainly to two 19-year-olds. Our props though, were both 45. Almost all of the team were what would be considered to be unfit and we had our oldest tour party member, our 78-year-old club president, starting at scrum-half.

‘I wish I could tell you that the bravery with which we defended our line and took the game to these well-tuned, fit, young, very hard rugby players… and we did, of course, for all 11 seconds until they scored their first try. We lost 106-0, and that was only because we had to stop playing after 55 minutes because we were incapable of mving anymore.”

Rob wasn’t seeking forgiveness from his teammates, who had a ball on the trip, nor the hundreds of spectators who paid to watch the mismatch. He’s looking to apologise to two people in particular.

“I would like to ask forgiveness from Jose from the Spanish RFU for misleading him ever so slightly and also from the sports editor of our local newspaper who I spoke to on returning from Spain. You see, I relayed this story to him along with photographic evidence to support the tale. These pictures may or may not have included a fake picture of the scoreboard which showed that we won 21-16.”

Amazing.

If you want to listen to the story in full, you can do so by clicking here.