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28th Jan 2018

New Bayern Munich forward describes penis goal as “very pleasant”

Whatever floats your boat, mate

Darragh Murphy

Sandro Wagner won’t ever forget his first goal for Bayern Munich.

Wagner’s move to the Bundesliga giants was confirmed at the beginning of this month and, as fate would have it, his first goal for his new club arrived against the team he just left.

The 30-year-old came off the bench with five minutes remaining and compounded Hoffenheim’s misery on Saturday afternoon, when Bayern ran out 5-2 winners at the Allianz Arena.

Wagner got his name on the scoresheet in the 90th minute in fortuitous circumstances as he bundled home a bobbling cross and, apparently, it was his penis that got the final touch.

“It may be that my penis played a part. It was there, I’m just not sure,” Wagner told BILD after the game.

“It happened so fast, but it was still very pleasant.”

Wagner didn’t hesitate to celebrate his former club, which is great to see, although his chosen squad number of 2 is a bit jarring.

Speaking of jarring, you may remember Wagner for his dislocated finger last year but, be warned, take a look at your peril because it’s nasty to say the least.