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14th Nov 2018

Marouane Fellaini has had a fresh new trim and it looks wrong

Wayne Farry


Ordinarily a man getting a haircut is not news, but Marouane Fellaini is not just a man and his hair is not just hair

Marouane Fellaini’s hair – his famous afro locks which jiggle like a plate of jelly wherever he goes – are the most recognisable thing about the Manchester United, with his blood-soaked elbows and knees a distant second.

Fellaini’s hair has become so synonymous with him that you could see a silhouette of him probably anywhere in the known universe and you’d recognise it. “That’s Marouane Fellaini,” you might say.

Occasionally, in the past, Fellaini has experimented with some new styles for his hair. For the last while he has sported a highlighted look similar to the coat of a cheetah or some other big cat.


He has also previously experimented with some cornrows which could be most charitably described as absolutely fucking awful.


Now though, in this big, bad world of 2018, the Belgian star has decided to go back to basic and try something both different and familiar.

That is because he has only gone and shaved his bloody head.

Yeah, he’s taken the whole bush off. It’s just gone. Admittedly, it’s not a number one or anything that short but it is very, very short. And frankly, it looks weird.

Yeah, it suits him to an extent, but do we really want to live in a world where we are forced to confront the fact that we can no longer simply imagine the size and shape of Marouane Fellaini’s skull? I know I don’t, and I suspect you feel the same.