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06th Nov 2015

Man United Christmas bash – Style ratings (Pics)

Nooruddean Choudry

We’re in the first week of November, so of course Louis van Gaal and his Man United squad went and had their Christmas party.

The great and the good (and Wayne Rooney) were out in force, looking preemptively festive and dressed to the nines. But how did they stack up on the style stakes? We rated and slated the fancy garb on show…

Louis van Gaal

Style: Urban Rupert Bear

Is he working it?

It’s certainly a daring look. Much like Louis’ tactics, his suit is unashamedly structured and well set out. Checks are in, but sadly they clash with his wife’s bold use of circles – either the suit or she has to go.

Memphis Depay

Style: Wheeler-dealer Pasadena

Is he working it?:

Oh Memphis. Memphis, Memphis, Memphis. Unless the Dutch youngster is planning to star in a MTV reboot of Only Fools and Horses, this is trying far too hard with little end product. Not unlike…

Wayne Rooney

Style: Next catalogue page 322

Is he working it?:

Okay so it’s not high-fashion or particular adventurous, but we kind of like Wayne’s get-up here. Would we wear it on a night out? God no. Because he’s comfortable and relaxed, and that’s what counts.

Bastian Schweinsteiger

Style: Oscar night afterparty

Is he working it?:

Now we’re talking. As the old saying goes – don’t dress for the Christmas night out you’re at, dress for the Christmas night out you want to be at. Bastian looks very dapper, and yet suitably chilled too.

Juan Mata

Style: Elegant educator

Is he working it?:

Ah the tie/v-neck jumper combo – a key staple in the Geography teacher’s arsenal. The loveable Spaniard looks like he bought the whole combo straight off a Zara mannequin, but doesn’t he wear it well.

Marouane Fellaini

Style: Sunday morning, no milk

Is he working it?:


Andreas Pereira and David de Gea

Style: Topman sale

Are they working it?:

They often say that youth is wasted on the young, and both Andreas and Big Dave do their best to drive the point home. This is how Simon Cowell dresses up his boybands to look ‘edgy’ and ‘a bit naughty’.

Phil Jones

Style: Hair stylist awards

Is he working it?:

We agree with the bloke in the background.

Luke Shaw

Nice to be walking without crutches last night ?

A photo posted by Luke Shaw (@lukeshaw23) on

Style: Yabbie Creek chic

Is he working it?:

It’s great to see Luke up and about without crutches following his horrific leg break earlier in the season – even if he does look like he’s just walked off the Home And Away set. Still, he’s as plucky as his eyebrows.

Daley Blind

Style: Bruno Manc

Is he working it?:

Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo). Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo). Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo). Cos Uptown Funk gon’ give it to ya. Cos Uptown Funk gon’ give it to ya. Cos Uptown Funk gon’ give it to ya. Saturday night and I’m partnering Chris Smalling.

Anthony Martial

Style: 50 Shades of Black

Is he working it?:

This shouldn’t work. The jacket looks like something from an old Mission Impossible film, and the t-shirt has a completely unnecessary patent leather thing going on. But somehow he still looks badass, the swine.

James Wilson

Style: Jack the lad

Is he working it?:

This is our favourite. Sure, James is perhaps a little underdressed for a night out, but he looks good and it’s all very age appropriate. He’s not trying to imitate some d*ck in a music video and we applaud that.