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Football

31st Jan 2018

Mourinho mocks critics by calling himself ‘the monster that kills little kids’

Kyle Picknell

Remember – Pep promotes youth and Jose is the chequebook manager.

If you asked me this morning which Premier League manager had mockingly described themselves as a “monster that kills little kids”, I am very confident I would be able to give you the answer ‘Jose Mourinho’.

Talking about Marcus Rashford, the Portuguese manager is reported to have said: “His story is quite interesting because he started playing with Mr. Van Gaal when the team was really in trouble to have options. Then the monster that kills the little kids arrived, but he plays every game since then.”

Whether it’s the draconian smirk that has slowly but surely morphed into a permanent scowl, or the fact that he rents a hotel room to live in – instead of, you know, a house, with his family – there is just something about Mourinho that screams: “Yes I have a locked drawer in my bedroom that you’re not allowed to open because it is also a portal to another dimension”.

He’s clearly angry about pundits who have suggested he has a bad record with promoting youth, and you’ve got to admire that he refers to himself in third person and still makes Louis Van Gaal seem a worse person than him.

His point is this: Van Gaal was forced to give Rashford his big break through circumstance, yet he plays him despite possessing the attacking firepower of Romelu Lukaku, Anthony Martial, Juan Mata and whatever is left of Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

“He plays every game, starting or coming from the bench, as a striker, as a left winger, as a right winger. Then he goes to the national team,” Mourinho said.

“The kid is having a hell of an experience at every level, so an amazing future waits for him and being surrounded by these players can only help him.”

And he has a point.