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11th Sep 2015

JOE’s weekend preview: Jose, City, Martial, Liverpool and Spurs

Thank f**k the football's back...

Nooruddean Choudry

Will Everton heap more misery on Chelsea?

Chelsea visit Merseyside for their brunch match with Everton, in a game they’re already calling the ‘Great Stones War’…they’re not, but we’re hoping it’ll catch on. That’s a nice little reference for all you fans of American deathcore band Winds of Plague. All one of you.

There’s certainly a winds of plague kinda feeling around Stamford Bridge these days. So used to solid starts, Jose Mourinho and his team will have expected a lot better than four points from four games so far. And Everton away isn’t a great fixture to turn things around.

Can the Eagles stall rampant City?

Who’d have thunk that this otherwise unremarkable fixture would take on the guise of a top of the table clash? We doubt Sky have even worked out a name for it. May we suggest the ‘Iconic diagonal stripe away kit’ derby? No? Hmph.

City have started the season in ominous form. Silva looks sublime, Sterling is kicking into gear, Toure is Toure, and Aguero is maintaining his structural integrity for once. But Palace at Palace is as tough as they come right now. It should be a corker.

sterlingblue

Will Anthony Martial show why he matters?

Given all the debate about his transfer in the media, it seems as though Anthony Martial has been playing for Man United for a couple of seasons now. But you’ll be as surprised as us to realise he’s not even mishit his first pass for the club yet.

It seems some former players, pundits and rival fans alike have been queuing up to mock the young Frenchman out of pure pre-emptive scorn, owing to an inflated price tag that can hardly be blamed on him. On Saturday evening we might get to actually see him play, the poor lad.

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Which Liverpool will turn up?

It’s been a funny old start for Brendan Rodgers’ men. Up until their home game with West Ham, they seemed to have turned the corner from last season’s disappointing campaign.

They looked particularly impressive in the draw with Arsenal. But then came the hammering at home by the Hammers and it was back to square one.

Against Man United on Saturday, we should see whether Liverpool have the fight to make a real challenge for the top four again this year.

lvg-rodgers

Can Spurs finally kick start their season?

If Liverpool’s start to the campaign has been mixed, poor old Tottenham’s has been pure, undiluted sh*te. Hopes of a top four finish seem to have disappeared quicker than you can say ‘supercalifragilisticsaidodidntjoinus’.

They face a Sunderland side propping up the rest of the table and in diabolical form. If they can’t get a result against the misfiring Mackems on Sunday lunchtime, you’d perhaps suggest that Mauricio Pochettino doesn’t need to worry about menu choices for the Crimbo meal.

I’m going for the salmon.

Tottenham Hotspur v Stoke City - Premier League