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11th Jul 2017

JOE’s Transfer Digest – “We bought Lukaku to wind up yer da,” admits Jose Mourinho

Mourinho said he couldn't ignore the prospect of angering yer da for seasons to come

Wayne Farry

Welcome to JOE’s Transfer Digest, a safe space for transfers, rumours, speculation and hyperbole.

We’re well and truly into transfer season now, with new transfers being plucked from the fertile soil on a daily basis and being served for your hungry soul.

Mourinho admits motivation behind Lukaku deal

Romelu Lukaku was officially unveiled as Manchester United’s second signing of the summer this week, following the transfer of Swedish centre-back Victor Lindelof.

A delighted Jose Mourinho has been discussing the deal – which saw the Reds trump favourites Chelsea for his signature – and admitted that the prospect of winding up yer da was the main motivation behind signing the Belgian striker.

“Romelu is a wonderful player, a gifted striker with great technical and physical attributes. His transfer was wholly justified. But honestly, the thought of him, Pogba and Lingard doing some ludicrous dance and elaborate hand shake and angering yer da in the process was what truly drove me to complete the deal,” said the Portuguese coach today, adding that in recent years angering your father had become a huge part of his thinking in terms of signings.

“Just sitting there, quietly fuming at these young men having fun and not taking things too seriously. I get excited just imagining it.”

Diego Costa excited to start doing nothing at Atletico Madrid

Chelsea forward Diego Costa has spoken of his excitement at the prospect of a move back to Atletico Madrid today, despite the Spanish side’s transfer ban meaning he’ll be unable to actually lay until next year.

Speaking to friends yesterday from his home in Madrid, the Spanish international admitted that he can’t wait to get started sitting around and scratching his arse for six months while his teammates play football.

“I have always dreamed of returning to Madrid, so this is a dream come true, really. Add to that the fact that I literally won’t be able to do anything for half a year and it really is the best possible move I could make.”

Shaw still has role as United whipping boy

Yet more Manchester United news to cap off today’s Transfer Digest, with the news that Jose Mourinho has suggested that left-back Luke Shaw still has a future at the club.

Talking to media during the team’s pre-season tour in Los Angeles, Mourinho insisted that Shaw could have a role as the club’s whipping boy and general target for anger, providing he gets fit.

“I don’t want to write any player off because of one or two disappointing seasons. Luke is a nice boy, and he is working hard. If he keeps this up I will give serious consideration to giving him a chance to prove himself as my whipping boy,” said Mourinho. “Any time I am angry about something I will shout at him, if I’m truly enraged I might give him a punch in the arm, and he can also go to the shop whenever we want something. There are many things he can still do for us.”