A “cooking with semen” class might be ~coming~ to Britain

You know that feeling when you sit down to eat your spaghetti bolognese after a long day at work and can't help but think: "Hmmm, this spag bol sure is nice, but it's missing a big old dollop of spunk"?

No, you don't. You have never thought that. Nobody has. But Wonderush don't care, because Wonderush have a dream, and their dream is to get you to eat your own jizz. The events app are planning to launch a "cooking with semen" class in London, where you'll be taught to create such delights as "Victoria Spooge Cake", whip up a "Schlong Island Iced Tea" and give a whole different meaning to the term "jerk chicken"... It'll be a BYOS event (Bring Your Own Semen, obviously) – to be precise they say you'll need about five teaspoons of the stuff. How you plan to measure and collect that is totally up to you. As long as around 30 people register their interest, Wonderush say that's all they need to start setting their plans in motion, so if you fancy getting your hands sticky, you know what to do. Sex educator Alix Fox is supporting the event, and says the consumption of semen in food can have a fetishistic appeal: “While the idea of bringing cum into the kitchen will doubtless appall many people, some individuals find the idea of consuming such an intimate substance an incredible turn-on.” To be fair, of all the bodily fluids we produce, this one probably is the least gross, so maybe this is worth a shot? Maybe what your cooking has been missing all this time is a rounded teaspoon of the salty stuff? You know what, if this thing goes ahead, we promise we'll send someone down with a little tube of their finest swimmers, and let you know how it goes.