Australia: where strangers are "mates" and mates are "c*nts".
Disclaimer: I have an Aussie girlfriend (that's us below) and so I'm probably biased, but I speak from personal experience when I say it's pretty awesome.
From Miranda Kerr to Margot Robbie, the world-renowned beauty of Australian ladies is largely undisputed. It certainly is in my house anyway.
Whatever the reason, with so many Antipodean ex-pats living in Britain, it's time to get familiar with what folks from down under are actually like.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BAJ8c0nwGpU/?taken-by=luisaloser
On that note: here's this JOE writer's definitive guide to why
you should be dating an Aussie.
They appreciate the great outdoors...
Natural beauty is abundant in Australia. Don't expect Aussies to be impressed with a ~sunny~ day in London. That said, they have much more of an appreciation for hiking, swimming and skiing than us Brits. Time to get active.
via Giphy / SurferDude
They're in touch with animals and nature...
Call me a p*ssy, but my girlfriend deals with all the intrusive spiders when we're at home together. After all, she's probably built up a healthy dose of anti-toxins in her blood after all those years in Oz, and I'm pretty lazy.
via Giphy / Apatow Produtcions
They are famously laid back...
Trying to make an Australian stressed is next to impossible. You'll need to make fun of "Australia Day" or an obscure radio station they love called "Triple J" if you really want to wind one up. Even then, they make Brits look positively paranoid.
via Giphy / Lionsgate
But they have a distinctly wild side...
Aussie girls in particular are known for letting their hair down. They know how to have fun, and aren't usually bothered by a bit of light-hearted piss-takery either. Young girls from Oz drink more alcohol, pound for pound, than adult Aussie men. Which brings me to my next point...
via Giphy / Warner Bros
They can hold their liquor better than you.
Scientists reckon the Aussie accent is actually a bizarre cocktail of English, German, Irish and booze. One downside of Australia's alcohol affinity, however, is that there will be times when you literally can't keep up. Even as a British bloke...
via Giphy / Paramount
They're super sassy...
This one won't come as much of a shocker to anyone who has seen
Crocodile Dundee or
The Castle, but Aussies are known for giving as good as they get in the jokes department. Don't date one if your the sort of person who is easily offended.
via Giphy / MTV
But they're not pretentious...
Due to their slow pace of life and the notion that Australia was set up as a 'worker's paradise', Aussies are hardly ever vain and conceited about anything. Self-deprecating humour, in particular, is a trademark of Australian women. They know how to laugh at themselves.
via Giphy / ABC
They understand the importance of sport!
Never afraid of a bit of competition and always up for a challenge, Aussies – especially those living in the UK – can often be found appreciating our sporting culture. Got a boring job to do? An Australian would much rather you turn it into a game.
via Giphy / PussInBoots
They're always prepared for the worst...
Where others might run for the hills at the first sign of trouble, Australian tend to embrace drama and disaster wherever they find it, sometimes actively seeking out extreme activities and circumstances. Never a dull moment...
via Giphy / 4Gif
They're hardly ever clingy...
Don't get me wrong; Australian's aren't emotionally broken and detached or anything, but if you're ever unfortunate enough to find you've attracted a stalker, chances are he or she won't be an Aussie. They just don't have the time, mate.
Via Giphy / Animal Planet
They know how, and when, to be serious...
Watch
Q&A, the Australian version of
Question Time, and you'll soon see that Aussies are just as ~intellectually engaged~ as us Brits. The difference is they don't feel the need to be stoical and apologetic all the time. They're still seriously switched on.
via Giphy / Esquire
They are never afraid to tell it how it is...
The stereotype of the straight-talking Australian is as real as it is accurate. Some British people can find 'Australian honesty' a bit too confrontational. But the truth is they just aren't anywhere near as repressed and awkward as we are.
via Giphy / Universal Pictures
They can handle themselves in sketchy situations...
Chivalry isn't dead in Australia, not by a long shot. But that doesn't mean that Australians expect doors held open for them either. Many Australian girls will even get offended if you try to stand up for them in public. They can fight their own battles.
via Giphy / Legendary Pictures
Yet they're always understanding...
Narrowly missing out on the pompous austerity of the Victorian era made Aussies far more in touch with their feelings. Maybe we Brits are emotionally stunted but, either way, Australians are accepting, genuine and generous.
via Giphy / Apatow Productions
And lastly, they have a strong sense of national pride.
STRAYA, STRAYL-YA, AUST-RAL-YA or AUST-RAL-EE-A - they can't even pronounce the name of their own country correctly. It does't matter though. Not when they have so much to be proud of...
via Giphy / Reddit
What country should we cover next? Brazil? Thailand? Wales? Let us know your favourite nationality and why you love it so much at Hello@JOE.co.uk!
