Best friend duvet covers are now on sale, so you better get on board before you get left behind

Cement your friendship with this entirely normal duvet cover!

Do you love your best friend? Do you really and truly love them? Are you willing to die for them? Good. Until such time as you find yourself in a situation where you must sacrifice your life for your best friend, you can prove your friendship's strength by making the entirely rational decision to get a duvet cover set with their face strewn across it. For the bargain price of just £99.05, the disturbed folks over at Shelfies will print your best mate's face, or anyone's face for that matter, on a duvet cover. 'Surely there's a catch?', you're thinking, and you're right to ask. You see, if you get a duvet cover made with your best friend's face on it, people are going to ask questions. They'll ask questions like:

• Why have you done this?
• Do you need to start seeing Doctor Peter again?
• Where did you get £99.05 I swear to God if you've stolen from work again?
• Why are you like this?
• Why can't you just be normal like your brother? He's got a job and a girlfriend.
• If you channelled this much energy into something productive, don't you think that would be much more worthwhile?
• At this point you've been caught. You've got nothing to gain here. You're going to be locked away for a very long time. Please just tell us where you buried the body?

Once you've prepared some answered for those upcoming queries, the only thing left to figure out is which friend you're going to get printed onto a duvet cover. What about Johnno? He's a laugh but he might think it's creepy. Maybe Greg from school? He's always doing crazy things like drug trafficking and transferring money into your back account with the ID tag 'Porn' so it shows up on your bank statement like that. Yeah, Greg's the one. Put Greg on your duvet and see his face light up as you invite him into your room for a sleepover underneath tens of cutouts of his face. Legend. Get your friendship-cementing and not in any way troubling duvet cover here.