23 things you find in every shit local nightclub

1. A floor so covered with old spilt booze that your shoes stick to it if you stay still for too long.

Image: Twitter: @mandlecreed

 

2. A name that sounds like it's been thought of by a candidate on The Apprentice.

Image: YouTube

 

3. Some kind of deal on Jägerbombs, which are made with discount energy drink not Red Bull.

Image: Twitter: @onlymemories_

 

4. About 50 different flavours of Corky's, or something similar but equally bad.

Image: Twitter: @corkysschnapps

 

5. Drinks tokens which you're given if you get in before a certain time.

Image: Twitter: @MerryKish

 

6. The "main room" which mostly plays pop music from a couple of years ago with the odd new song chucked in.

Image: YouTube

 

7. A second "indie room" which basically just plays songs by bands like The Killers from the '00s.

Image: Twitter: @Leadmill

 

8. The occasional "special appearance" from a bloke who was on TOWIE four years ago.

Image: Twitter: @PopworldBpool

 

9. A "VIP area" which is just a normal table with a bit of rope separating it from the rest of the club.

Image: Instagram: @martiqe

 

10. Bouncers who are extremely strict on ID and the dress code given no one really wants to be in there anyway.

Image: Twitter: @KeaneNikki

 

11. A plastic tub of very old and withered limes for when someone orders a tequila.

Image: Twitter: @ElkBar_Fulham

 

12. Horribly bright toilets with "graffiti" scribbled on the walls.

Image: Twitter: @emmaswiftsings

 

13. And cubicles with doors that don't lock properly, so you have to hold them shut.

Image: Twitter: @hotelgmtweets

 

14. Fishbowl cocktails which have barely any actual booze in them and somehow glow in the dark.

Image: Twitter: @whatupjayyy

 

15. A DJ who thinks he's a lot, lot better than he is.

Image: eBay

 

16. An official photographer who would take about six terrible photos of you and your mates, which then appear on the club's Facebook page with a massive watermark on them a few days later.

Image: weknowmemes.com

 

17. Club nights with awful, awful names like "Frat Party Fridays" and "Candyland".

Image: tonybeats.wordpress.com

 

18. A pole in the middle of the dance floor, which probably supports the entire building.

Image: Twitter: @rubiafotografa

 

19. Walls that literally drip with sweat.

Image: Flickr

 

20. A really depressing smoking area / cage which is usually as busy as the dancefloor.

Image: Twitter: @fionnulamac

 

21. The smell of cheap, sugary alcohol which wafts through the entire building.

Image: Twitter: @mccarroll236

 

22. "Mr Brightside" always being the last song and all the guys in the room grabbing each other, jumping up and down and shouting the words.

Image: YouTube

 

23. A stamp that always takes about three showers to wash off.

Image: Twitter: @srahelizabth