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11th Apr 2018

People are making hilarious memes using Mark Zuckerberg’s face during questioning

The only man who gets mistaken for his own Madame Tussaud waxwork

Kyle Picknell

We need to talk about Mark Zuckerberg. We need to talk about Mark Zuckerberg’s face.

Mark Zuckerberg was grilled by American Senators in Congress over Facebook’s involvement in the Cambridge Analytica scandal today, and his face really does tell a story. Not a good story, not one with many plot twists or much character development, but a story nonetheless.

Somehow he manages to look like if a haunted house was a person, and as though that haunted house person has just realised they have left the oven on and several hundred candles lit in their actual house, and that their actual house was also a petrol station.

That’s not even fear in his eyes. That’s not terror.  That’s just nothingness and emptiness and a bit more nothingness. Can you honestly look at the image below and sincerely tell me that this man blinks? That he actually, physically blinks? Can you really convince me that he has blood pumping from his heart, and not brake fluid, or Lucozade sport? Can you assure me that he can cry real tears, real watery tears, and not just excrete sand from his eyeballs?

The answer is no, no you cannot. This is obviously not the real Mark Zuckerberg, only an idiot would think that. This is clearly an extremely expensive, high-tech android that looks exactly like him, can move and talk, and is standing trial for him because he can’t be arsed explaining why he stole everyone’s data.

Take a look for yourself.

Robot? Yeah.

Also yeah.

Again, yeah. Note to self: man on the left also definitely does not look like a real person. Investigate further. He could have a robot army developing.

Perhaps even worse for the Facebook CEO than everyone thinking he is actually not a real human being is the fact that he was caught using a booster seat, like a small child at the dinner table chucking spaghetti hoops everywhere. It didn’t make any sense, but fortunately we have some theories to explain what exactly was going on.

Somehow, this is all real life, and we are all actually living it. Long may it continue.