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24th Nov 2016

Oldham Council instantly regret asking the public to name their new gritter

It's like Boaty McBoatface, but far ruder

Nooruddean Choudry

If 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that any kind of public vote means trouble.

Don’t get us wrong – we’re not calling for the overthrow of democracy. It’s more that any polling situation in this calendar year – be it Brexit, the US election, X Factor, anything – has just resulted in a load of arguing and controversy.

If you ask the public for recommendations, rather than a simple yes or no, it can get even more farcical and inappropriate.

Who can forget the time we were asked to decide on a name for the new research vessel owned by the Natural Environment Research Council, and the public decreed that a vital scientific facility worth millions of pounds should be called ‘Boaty McBoatface’.

Image result for boaty mcboatface

Of course that didn’t come to pass in the end. The powers that be instead plumped for the rather more stately ‘RRS Sir David Attenborough’ after the national treasure and Planet Earth II narrator. We assumed that was the end of such tomfoolery, but alas it’s not the case.

Oldham Council are very proud of their brand new gritter, and so they should be. The salt-rock dispenser will save hundreds of locals from sore arses and bruised egos during the winter months. So chuffed are they that in their infinite wisdom, they tweeted out a request for the public to name it.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The public being the public, there was the predictable mix of corny, immature and decidedly ‘off-colour’ responses. We hate to say it, but Oldham Council really were asking for this. Here we go again…