18 things you'll know if you're painfully middle class 5 years ago

18 things you'll know if you're painfully middle class

1. The avocado is not just a food; it's not just a way of life; it's a precise and delicate art

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Photo: Simon Drew

 

2. You absolutely will not stand for substandard brands

Photo: @SizeyMcSize

No offence, Walkers, but you're not Tyrells.

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3. You believe in the finer things in life, even if they're literally for wiping your arse with

Photo: @Julieg82

 

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4. Even drinking on a budget still needs a touch of class about it

Photo: @pjmcd

Tesco value vodka? I think not...

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5. You have many pointless-yet-expensive kitchen gadgets that you use once and never even look at again

Photo: @EvilNinjaPhil

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6. Not the spiralizer though, because for some reason, you're obsessed with turning vegetables into spaghetti

Photo: @iamabitodd

No one knows why middle class people love making courgetti so much, but give them a spiralizer and a bag of veg and they'll be happy for days.

 

7. You literally had a heart attack when you heard the news that the Great British Bake Off was moving to Channel 4 without Mary, Mel or Sue

AND ONE REALLY BIG THING THAT DID GO WRONG, PAUL, YOU BIG PUMPERNICKLE.

 

8. If you ever get into the papers, it'll be because of an incident like this

Photo: @gabyhinsliff

 

9. Everything in Waitrose is essential in your eyes

Photo: @CameronTheGinge

 

10. Wine has to be the correct temperature. A couple of degrees over or under and it's ruined!

And yes, you can tell the difference, or so Rick Stein says.

 

11. You take the business of quinoa very seriously

Photo: @petebestuk

 

12. And it must - MUST - be pronounced correctly

Photo: @chrisgower

 

13. You generally don't approve of graffiti, but some things are worth shouting about

Photo: @Nicolath

Fuck yeah, pesto!

 

14. Your autocorrect knows exactly how middle class you are

Photo: @ElfieKawaii

That's the plot of My Fair Lady summed up in one autocorrect.

 

15. Signs like this send you into a blind rage in the supermarket

Photo: @lexierogers

AND YOU CALL THIS CIVILISATION?!?

 

16. It's hard to know which of your many Apple products to order your Ocado delivery on

Photo: @michaeltmclean

 

17. And when you get a bad substitution, hoo boy!

Photo: @shandyfarr

 

18. Okay, Ocado screw-ups aren't a real issue, but seriously, it is hard being middle class sometimes

Photo: @mileslivingsto

 

Feature: @CameronTheGinge / @mileslivingsto