"I was made to undergo praying in tongues, exorcisms, having demons cast out of me, and being anointed with holy oil"
Justin Beck grew up in a small town near Glasgow. His family are evangelical Christians and religion dictated every aspect of his life, from his daily routine, to how he saw the world through the religious looking glass. So, when as a teenager he started to suspect he might be gay, he found himself thrust into conflict with his religion, his family and his idea of what his future was supposed to look like.
Now, Justin is sharing his story to help raise awareness of the damage conversion therapy can do. A new docu-series,
Hollyoaks: In Real Life tells the stories of people whose experiences have shaped the storylines of the famous British soap.
“I hated myself; I wanted rid of this gay demon," Justin says, introducing himself at the start of the documentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jya79HZmmEA&t=5s
Growing up, Justin says he was “very much in a bubble.” Back then, his weekly routine, which he details on the Ban Conversion Therapy website was dominated by religion. Tuesday and Saturday were the only days not engulfed in religious rhetoric.
Monday was Teen Club, Wednesday Bible study, and Thursdays were discovery group where participants selected a passage in the bible and set out to discover new meanings. On Sunday he had morning and evening services, as mentioning how socialising with Christian families was a must on the holy day.
His life started to change when, aged 13, he first realised he was attracted to men. "You ultimately have to do something about it, you have to ask for forgiveness, you have to go to church every Sunday and pray," Justin says, touching on how the lens of religion altered his perception of himself.
Justin turned to what was then his most trusted source of advice, the Bible. He came across a passage that appeared to confirm his worst fears.
“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination,” reads Leviticus 18:22.
As far as Justin was concerned, what was written in the Bible had to be true.
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Justin Beck and Hollyoakes star Ross Adams, credit: Channel 4[/caption]
"Praying in tongues, having exorcisms, having demons cast out of me, and being anointed with holy oil” were sadly regular occurrences for Justin.
His speech caused a stir and sparked the growth of the set of pseudoscientific techniques known as "conversion therapy" which attempt to alter a person's sexuality or gender identity.
The practice, which is widely dismissed today, spread through the 20th century - leaving a trail of shame and suffering in its wake. The medical community at that time typically believed that homosexuality was a condition that could be overridden to make a heterosexual lifestyle
. This view was based on misinformation about what made a person gay, lesbian or bisexual.
In May, Boris Johnson's government finally announced plans to
in the UK.
https://twitter.com/thekieranaldred/status/1412088868917100549
The government's decision was sparked by a
in 2018 that anonymously surveyed 108,000 LGBTQ+ people across the UK. It found that 5% of those who responded to the survey had been offered conversion (also known as reparative) therapy in an attempt to ‘cure’ them, and a further 2% had undergone it. Of those who said they'd had conversion therapy, more than half (51%) had received it from a faith group, while 19% said it was from a healthcare professional.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZy97yy1cGU
Justin's story resonates with Ross not just as a Gay man, but also because of the parallels between Justin's story and that of his characters on Hollyoaks. Mitchell Deveraux's story on Hollyoaks, played by the fantastic Imran Adams, details a young man struggling to find the balance between family, faith, and his own sexuality.
Ross's character Scott was instrumental in Mitchell's recovery and acceptance. Though their relationship was never smooth sailing, fans were devasted to see the pair split up when Imran Adams left the show.
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Hollyoaks characters Scott Drinkwell (Ross Adams) and Mitchell Deveraux (Imran Adams) on their Wedding day[/caption]
Justin's help came in the form of a therapist he found online. Through therapy, Justin has been able to begin addressing the trauma from his past. "Still to this day he is my safety net," says Justin, touching on the monumental change his therapist has had on his life.
"At its root conversion therapy is enforced repression, and I was repressing a large part of myself for a really really long time.
"So to be able to be free, and be expressive, and go and dance, and have an absolute gay time, it was amazing."
He now lives with his fiancee and their dog. Now he is on his own journey to his happy ending, he wants to make sure that other young Queer people of faith don't suffer as he did.
He has this message:
And he also has advice for parents looking for some guidance on how best to help their Queer children.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CQMVLhCFcMo/
