9 deserving contenders for the face of the new £50 note
Roll up, roll up. Get your £50 notes. Two for £120, three for £200
Not sure if you've heard, but there's a debate going on at the moment regarding who should be the face of the new £50 note.
Frankly, I'm yet to hear a reasonable suggestion, so I've taken matters into my own hands.
Based on nothing more than personal preference, I've drafted 9 credible individuals that I firmly believe should be considered as the face of this new bank note.
Please cast your vote at the bottom. This is important market research which I must complete as a mandatory part of the process before I can formally approach the Bank of England with my suggestions.
Let the man who coined the term 'Wonga' be on the money because he deserves it more than anyone else. Wonga Man understands what it's like to represent the nation, having featured in the iconic Envirofone advert and very quickly making his way into household conversations. Heck, let's abolish currency altogether and simply refer to it as 'Wonga' from now on.
2. Jack and Dani
They comfortably won Love Island 2018 and are likely to be at a loss of what to do with themselves at present. Not to worry, as we have the opportunity to drag them right back into public discourse by printing their giant faces on every legal £50 note in the country. What's even better is the fact that Daily Mail commenters will all break their wrists typing 'WHO?' when the announcement is made.
3. Bradley Walsh
The Chase is the greatest television programme on our screens today. What better way to encapsulate 2018 than by putting the host of The Chase in our pockets with his cheeky smile encouraging us all to make senseless purchases such as lottery tickets and physical CD-Roms. Name a more deserving £50 note model than Bradley Walsh? You cannot.
4. Rachel Stevens
No real logic here. Just worth mentioning that we haven't heard from Rachel in a while and often forget the huge impact that S Club 7 had on the world back in the late 90s / early 00s. Sure, we could put the entire band on the note, but they'd have to be squashed down into a smaller size. Just put Rachel on the note, she's the only one whose name anyone can remember anyway. (PAUL! There was also a Paul).
The inevitable winner of GBBO 2018 needs some reassurance in life and could finally be the act that will push him over the line into being more confident. Rahul's dazzling smile would make transactions a joy as you're spurred on by a familiar and nervous face. His polo neck deserves a second outing aside from the GBBO promotional photographs. Just put him on the £50 note, ffs.
6. Dean Gaffney
Dean Gaffney - Face of the £50 Note. Undeniably, it just sounds right. Instead of asking about £50 notes anymore, people will ask if they can have a lend of "a Gaffney". Everything will be measured in units of Gaffneys. £100 is two Gaffneys, etc. Dean bloody Gaffney. Gaffers. Put him on the £50 and be done with it. Or are you afraid of banter, Bank of England?
Commemorate the wonderful dog that lit up Britain's Got Talent in 2012, who comfortably took the crown from Diversity (or whatever adorable dance troupe took part in the show that year). Pudsey sadly passed away last year, so this fitting tribute would go a long way in ensuring that Pudsey is never far from the minds of the British public. No jokes here, just a wonderful sentiment. Do the right thing, Britain.
8. A Custard Cream
Use your £50 note to purchase a lifetime supply of Custard Creams because they are delicious biscuits that suit every occasion. They rarely get the attention they deserve, so paying long overdue respect to their wonderment by forever immortalising their appearance on a £50 note is a logical move. Plus, hundreds of years from now, historians will have to try figure out why there's a biscuit on the front of old £50 notes. Lol.
9. Dave Coaches
No real logic here, just think it would be tight as hell to have Dave Coaches from Gavin & Stacey on the precious £50 note. Imagine tourists asking who he was, then having the unbridled pleasure of getting to introduce them to the greatest television series ever made. "So he drove the bus, that's why his name is Dave Coaches. No he doesn't really have any significance to Britain in the traditional sense, but he was a brilliant character".