Eight appalling Dad jokes using Facebook profiles as the punchline

Dad jokes are important.

As a person whose entire sense of humour is comprised of a 50/50 split of Dad jokes and bad puns, I have a lot of respect for any Dad that truly lives up to his Dad joke potential. It's not easy. Shit jokes are every bit as hard as regular jokes to think of. Maybe slightly less hard but they still require a certain amount of thought and self-hatred, trust me. We're living in modern times. It's not enough to offer up a Dad joke on the internet anymore. People want more. At present, there is a dancing hotdog taking the online world by storm. Nothing else will top it. With that in mind, I've decided to combine the modern marvel that is Facebook, with some of the shittest Dad jokes ever created. What follows will induce groans, sighs and a mass threat to delete the internet. I understand and I'm sorry.

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What did the sea say to the beach? Nothing, it...   Nobody wants to be friends with Dracula because he's...   A horse walks into a bar. The barman says...   What do you call a man with a rubber toe?   I've no interest in buying velcro clothes. They're...   What should you do if you see a spaceman?   I hate bending down to order drinks. We should really...   RIP boiling water, you...