Ecosexuals believe we should all be having sex with Earth to save the planet
Bringing new meaning to the phrase 'Love mother Earth'
A group known as 'Ecosexuals' believe that they can save the planet from the harmful effects of climate change by having sex with it.
This controversial approach - which ditches protests, road blockages and endless picketing for activities like skinny dipping, hugging trees and genuinely getting down and dirty with, well, dirt - is a growing trend among modern environmentalists.
As reported in multiple outlets, the term 'Ecosexual' refers to a wide range of nature lovers and according to a 2016 Vice article, there were approximately 100,000 of them around the world at the last count.
Artists Annie Sprinkle and Elizabeth Stephens who penned the 'Ecosexual Manifesto' and helped bring the term into the mainstream claim that this unusual practice can take many forms and even knocked up a list of 25 ways in which you can "make love to the Earth" for those keen to get involved.
If you're looking for ways to get a little closer to Mother Earth, why not start with point number one: "Tell the Earth 'I love you. I can't live without you'" before moving on to the more intimate stuff, like point number five: "massage[ing] the Earth with your feet" or number nine: "taste her".
Those feeling a little extra adventurous can "circulate erotic energy with [the Earth]" - number seven - or even "do a nude dance for her" - number 15.
These varied practices aren't that surprising, given the lifestyle's flexible nature.
Self-professed 'Ecosexual' and UNLV School of Community Health Sciences staffer Amanda Morgan explained that participants can be people who simply choose to use sustainable sex products, right down to "people who roll around in the dirt having an orgasm covered in potting soil.
"There are people who fuck trees, or masturbate under a waterfall," she added.
Over the years, Sprinkle and Stephens have even officiated wedding ceremonies that have seen 'Ecosexuals' marry the Earth, moon and other nature-based objects.
We know what you're thinking though... how does all this plant-based bonking actually help the Earth?
Well, further research led by New York-based writer and activist Stefanie Iris Weiss provided some answers to that. She identified the harmful impact items like condoms, lube and other sex products can have on the environment in her 2010 book Eco-sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable.
By going straight to the source, you avoid all those harmful add-ons. Just be sure to clean up afterwards.
- Wildlife returns to the Thames 60 years after it was declared biologically dead
- David Attenborough says he hopes he dies quickly
- Insulate Britain compares not acting on climate change to 'letting the Holocaust happen'