Wayne Shaw is the gift that 2017 desperately needed.
In nothing short of an momentous decision, the reserve goalkeeper tucked himself into a pie during Sutton's match against Arsenal last night.
The imagery is breathless; simply exhibiting a man consuming a meat and potato pie, reminding us all that truly, not all heroes wear capes.
Spurred on by Shaw's carefree attitude and blatant appetite for #banter, I've added him to some iconic movie scenes and the results are beyond satisfactory, proving there's very little this man can't fix.
Titanic
Not only was there enough room for both Rose and Jack on that plank, it also would've comfortably seated Wayne Shaw, his meat pie and a family of seven.
E.T.
Not a lot of people know this, but E.T. actually stands for Eat Things, which is exactly what Wayne is doing in this iconic photograph.
Forrest Gump
"Life is like a box of pies, you never know what variety you're going to get".
The Godfather
"Revenge is a dish best served cold". Similarly, pies are a dish that can be served both hot and cold. They're fun, portable and extremely versatile.
Bridesmaids
The dazzling sight of Mrs. Iglesias wasn't enough to deter big Wayne from his meat and potato pie, which he somehow managed to get through airport security despite its terroristically good taste.
Fight Club
The first rule of meat pie club is: you
do not talk about meat pie club. The second rule is that you must always bring enough pies for the rest of the club, you selfish fuck.
Silence of the Lambs
Side note: There were no lambs in that movie, let alone silent ones. Story there, Hopkins?
Jurassic Park
Those dinosaurs were entirely real and no CGI was used whatsoever. Similarly, the meat pie on our screens last night was 100% genuine British beef, that's the Greggs guarantee.
Pulp Fiction
An often overlooked extra in this iconic scene, Shaw was said to be a complete professional on set, even bringing his own props, such as the meat and potato pie pictured above.
The Shawshank Redemption
An anagram of Andy Dufresne is actually 'Meat Pie', if you an 'm', 't', 'p' and 'i'.
