The crossover between Pokemon Go and football was inevitable, in the sense that football will always latch on to the latest trends in a desperate attempt to be ‘down with the kids’.
We’ve seen clubs set up lures in a bid to attract fans to friendlies which haven’t come close to selling out, plus some creative signing announcements, like this from FC Pune City.
A fierce competitor with a hard-working attitude. Welcome Andre Bikey. #KarPunekar pic.twitter.com/OehL9V9h6t
— FC Pune City (@FCPuneCity) July 26, 2016
As long-term admirers of those Indian Super League impresarios over in Pune, we decided to put our own spin on things.
What if…and hear us out here…some of your favourite Pokemon…wait for it…were footballers?!
Amazing, right? Don’t answer that. Just keep reading, if only to humour us.
Pikachu – David Beckham
The best-known of all Pokemon. Even people who have never played the game know about him, and he’s adored by fans in the Far East.
Who’s football’s equivalent? Why, David Beckham, of course.
Chansey – Mesut Ozil
A selfless Pokemon, it is known for giving others a helping hand.
Assisting them, if you will.
Omanyte – Lee Cattermole
A fossil from a forgotten era, it still manages to do damage with its rather agricultural forms of attack.
Remind you of a certain Sunderland midfielder?
Pinsir – Xherdan Shaqiri
Deceptively strong despite its slight stature, it can be very destructive when it has you in its grip.
Moves include Irongrip, Guillotine and Bicycle Kick.
Gloom – Marouane Fellaini
More evolved than it might appear at first sight, it is capable of deadly hidden attacks.
Part of its power comes through its ability to distract you with that thing on its head.
Exeggcute – Lee Carsley and Thomas Gravesen
If you want strength in numbers, this is where to look.
At first glance they seem identical, but it turns out each component can offer something very different.
Magikarp/Gyarados – Gareth Bale
From a tiny, feeble looking creature emerges a giant of the game.
We have no idea how one was capable of evolving into the other, but it was worth the wait.
Ekans and Arbok – Fabian Delph and Raheem Sterling
Some snakes shy away from their identity. Others embrace it.
Why let it get you down when you can use it to laugh at those who mock you?
Ditto – Jermain Defoe
It takes real skill to reinvent yourself as something completely different.
Whether it’s taking the form of other Pokemon or making the move from goal-poacher to number 10, we have to admire someone capable of transforming into something new.
Koffing – Jack Wilshere
Often surrounded by clouds of smoke. Capable of dragging down those that come too close.
You can probably see where we’re going with this one.
Ponyta – Will Grigg
Willing runner. On fire. Played zero minutes at Euro 2016.
Lickitung – Aleksandar Mitrovic
If we wanted to extend this to the wider football community, Mark Clattenburg would get an honourable mention.
Instead, the honour goes to the man with the most distinctive goal celebration in English football.
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