If footballers were Marvel Cinematic Universe characters
In partnership with Disney.
Avengers: Infinity War finally hits cinemas this month, after a decade of build-up. And we are hyped. Nearly every hero introduced in the Marvel Cinematic Universe – along with the odd villain – will come together to face the might of Thanos, and the power of the Infinity Stones.
But what if instead of superheroes, it was populated with the world’s best footballers? That is a completely logical think to theorise, right? Anyway, here’s our pick of who from the football world would fill in for Cap, Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers.
Marcus Rashford - Spider-Man
With great power comes great responsibility, and there’s no youngster facing greater responsibility than football’s own Peter Parker. He could end up winning a World Cup for England, or just turn out to be the next Francis Jeffers.
Diego Costa - The Hulk
A footballing genius who’s goal-poaching skills are often overshadowed by his temper? COSTA SMASH.
Kevin De Bruyne - Hawkeye
Master archer Clint Barton can hit basically any target with his incredible pin-point accuracy. Kevin De Bruyne can do the same with a crossfield pass.
Paul Pogba and Jesse Lingard - Black Panther and Shuri
Black Panther 🐾🤴🏾 pic.twitter.com/zqJBcGA3nV
— Jesse Lingard (@JesseLingard) February 25, 2018
Zlatan Ibrahimovic - Dr Strange
Has Zlatan ever been snapped wearing a cloak? We can totally imagine him swanning around in a massive cloak. He’s already got both the dodgy facial hair and the ability to manipulate reality to create space and time around him – all he needs is the cloak to truly become the Sorcerer Supreme of the football world.
Because he’s basically a god now.
Hatem Ben Arfa - War Machine
War Machine has been missing in action since Captain America: Civil War in 2016 – not unlike PSG’s Hatem Ben Arfa.
Benjamin Mendy – Ant Man
Modern footballers, not unlike a lot of superheroes, can be a solemn and humourless bunch. So just like Ant-Man was a breath of fresh air in the MCU, thank god for Benjamin Mendy, goofing around and hashtaging everything #SharkTeam. He probably got excited about meeting Sergio Augero the same way Ant Man did with Cap.
Marouane Fellaini – Groot
He’s tall and his hair makes him look like a tree.
Jack Wilshere – Rocket Racoon
He’s a feisty geezer that’s been subjected to a lot of medical treatments.
Hector Bellerin - The Grandmaster
Hector Bellerin, sitting in the front row of Men’s Fashion Week, dressed liked Jeff Goldblum in Thor: Ragnarok, only he’s wearing a Supreme beanie as well. Can totally see it happening.
Neymar – Loki
Neymar is an enigmatic figure, sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain. Like Loki, he can do magical things, but maybe his greatest skill is being a master manipulator, playing five-dimensional chess with his own image rights.
Wilfred Zaha - Falcon
Because he's one of the greatest wingers in the Premier League, geddit? *sigh*
James Milner - The Vision
A highly competent, sentient humanoid struggling to act like a real human, and not quite fitting in.
"What is this thing you humans call 'fun'? I do not understand".
Mario Balotelli – Drax The Destroyer
Jamie Vardy – The Winter Soldier
Bucky Barnes has a cool-as-hell metal arm, and looks like he’ll get a vibranium one in Infinity War. Jamie Vardy used to always wear that blue cast on his wrist. That’s basically the same, right?
Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo – Captain America and Iron Man
The two big dogs. One is the most incredible individual of his generation, who despite being a national hero sometimes has his country turn against him. The other is a brilliant, arrogant, good looking genius, who manages to be both insufferable and inspirational at the same time. Can they ever co-exist?
Avengers: Infinity War is in cinemas April 27.