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14th May 2017

“Gary Lineker in the nude on Match of the Day – disgusting!” and other bizarre TV Licence excuses

The 10 worst excuses people have given for not paying the TV Licence have been published

Rich Cooper

The TV Licence is £147, a sizeable chunk of money, and a sum that not everyone feels like paying.

Though it does give you access to a wide range of entertainment, news and education programming across TV, radio and the internet, some people aren’t a fan of the TV Licensing system.

That said, the law is the law and if you want to watch TV, you have to buy one. That is unless you have an absolutely blinding excuse, of course.

It’s not, but that hasn’t stopped these people from trying to get around it.

TV Licensing have revealed the Top 10 worst excuses they’d received from people who hadn’t paid their TV Licence over the past year, the Mirror reports. Some of them are fantastic, so fantastic that you almost wish TV Licensing should just give them free telly for a year as a reward for their creativity.

And so, in no particular order:

“Sorry, I can’t buy a licence because I’m giving CPR to my goldfish.” Female in Bonnyrigg

“My tag interferes with the TV signal.” Male in Liverpool

“I don’t watch the BBC [as the theme tune to EastEnders played out in the background].” Male in Birmingham

“I’ll pay it next year when the Rangers are back in the Premier League, pal.” Male in Glasgow

“I have a smart TV and it’s that smart it can work without a licence.” Male of Paisley

“I don’t need a TV Licence because when we got divorced a court gave her half of everything. So I got the TV and she got the licence. Go find her!” Male of Edinburgh

“I am exempt from buying a TV Licence, as I am Prince Harry’s girlfriend.” Female in East London

“I am not paying for my licence now that the BBC are showing porn. Gary Lineker in the nude on Match of the Day – disgusting!” Female in Croydon

[With reference to a flat screen TV showing the Simpsons] Customer: “It’s not a TV, it’s an LCD fire.”

Enquiry Officer: “And it’s got Bart Simpson-shaped flames.” Female in Magherfelt

“I only have one leg, I shouldn’t have to pay.” Male in Leven


BBC,Gary Lineker