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04th Jul 2018

Danny Dyer won’t be appearing on Love Island’s ‘Meet the Parents’ episode

It's like parent's evening, except to discuss all your shagging

Kyle Picknell

Danny and Jack going for a pint would have been asbolutely perfect television

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that global superstar and political icon Danny Dyer will not be entering the Love Island villa this season to have a right old tear up with pen salesman extraordinaire Jack Fincham and his daughter Dani Dyer, the duo currently tugging on the heartstrings of the nation by being the only people on the show who are, in fact, ‘proper fucking sound’.

Apparently the Eastenders actor has prior commitments that mean he won’t be able to fly out to Majorca and presumably tear up the gaff in typical Danny Dyer fashion.

It basically means that the ‘Meet the Parents’ episode that the ITV2 producers currently have planned will now be far, far less interesting. Even if it does turn out to be like a parent’s evening, Adam’s mother just completely aghast at all his endless shagging and dumping and shagging and dumping, Georgia’s dad offering Josh outside ‘just for a little talk’.

A perfect episode of television was on the cards, especially after it was revealed that Jack actually had a poster of Danny Dyer up on his bedroom wall back home, which, well, means things could have got extremely awkward after they inevitably win the £50,000 first prize and return home.

On the show Dani admitted: “I don’t know what film it is, but Jack has got a poster of it. Not Dad’s face.

“If it was Dad’s face I’d have to end it now – I couldn’t walk in and see my dad on top of me and him.”

Yeah. We understand Dani. We completely understand.

Still, it would have been fun to see the absolutely soundest bloke in the world meet the second most sound bloke in the world, sip an Amstel together in the garden, and talk about how great Dani is and how football is coming home.

It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.