Search icon


13th Jul 2018

Alex just about clings on again in Love Island and the nation can’t believe it


Kyle Picknell

They say cats have nine lives. Dr Alex, a.k.a ‘The Love Doctor’, has about 90

Alex. You can’t stop him. He’s like a big, pink, unstoppable wave of undercooked salmon and bad chat.

And once again, he lives on, thanks to Alexandra choosing to couple up with him over Idris, the overly cocky boxer from Birmingham whose idea of flirting was just telling asking people if their type is an overly cocky boxer from Birmingham, or that other guy, who was so boring I can’t even remember his name or anything about him other than his meticulously shaved Drake-ish beard line and attempting to steal just about every girl in villa.

Oh, and getting absolutely pied whilst trying to steal every girl in the villa.

Anyway. Alex. What are we going to do with you, Alex? Now you have, once again, successfully coupled up by the skin of your teeth and we’ll have to repeat that whole rigmarole of that poor girl gradually realising she doesn’t fancy you and can’t even have sex with you because like a six foot four Ken doll come to life, you actually do not possess the requisite genitalia to successfully mate.

Understandly, people are starting to get a bit suspicious of the involvement of the producers.

After all, this is a programme about shaggers, the top shaggers, the men who just absolutely live for pretending they shag all the time and telling everyone about how they shag all the time.

Alex is not this type of person. He is the sort of guy who phones up his mum to ask him if he’s left a specific pair of his ‘days of the week’ socks back at home.

“Yes. Wednesday, mother. WEDNESDAY! I can’t find them anywhere. Yes, I have looked in my sock drawer. No, I don’t know where I last left them. What am I going to wear tomorrow? No, I can’t wear just wear a different day instead. WELL WHERE ARE THEY THEN?”

Still, the Great British public were pleased, if a little bit bemused.


Love Island