Search icon


25th Jul 2017

17 hilarious Joey Tribbiani quotes that will help you through life

Paul Moore

Here come the meat sweats.

Now that Matt LeBlanc is turning 50, we’ve decided to look at some of Joey’s finest moments on Friends.

1) Sex or food?

He has his priorities 100% correct.

Joey Hands

2) Showing off.

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.

Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y’know…

Joey Smiling

3) Dealing with Ross’ break-up with Rachel.

This is one of the best moments ever between Chandler, Ross and Joey.


Clip via –  Ivo Peric

4) Those ‘geography for the insane’ lessons.

There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe just how good this answer is.

Maybe Captain Hook can explain it?

Joey Dutch People

5) His ideal job.

One of the most quoted lines from Friends is when Joey uses his answering machine voice to say “You have two new messages. Please pass the pie”.

1:06 onwards will have you in bits.

Clip via – beatles1978

6) His weekday activities.

Well worth a try.

Joey Naked Thursday

7) Joey’s attitude to sex.

This entire passage is absolute gold.

Chandler: Uhh, you’ve had a lot of sex right?

Joey: (Nonchalantly) When? Today? Some, not a lot.

Chandler: Well, it’s just the reason that I’m asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable to—I mean I really wanted too, but I couldn’t….

Joey: Don’t worry about that man, that happens.

Chandler: It’s happened to you?

Joey: Yeah! Once.

Chandler: Well, what’d you do?

Joey: I did it anyway!

Hero, absolute hero.

4:06 is the moment when Joey delivers one of his greatest ever lines.

Clip via – Unofficially Friends

8) When Rachel made a balls of the trifle.

To hell with foodies.

Joey Trifle

9) Logic, Joey style.

Is it weird that this makes total sense?

Joey Moo Point

10) Joey on the game show.

Why would there be a ghost in his fridge?

Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
Gene: It’s white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!

Clip via – shmookins

11) Joey’s code word for danger.

Bert! Bert! Bert!

Clip via – Favorite Videos

12) Never apologise for anything.



13) DIY, Joey style.

“You don’t look good Joe”.

Joey Fridge

14) Fashion tips.

“It’s a rented tux. Okay? I’m not gonna go commando in another man’s fatigues”.

Joey Commando

15) Fine dining.

After Joey conquered his Everest, he was expecting a call from the President soon after.

Joey Sweats

16) The golden rule

I guess we couldn’t have a list of Joey quotes without including….