"I wake up around 6am... and feel absolutely fucked"

Comedian Pete Otway has delivered his own take on the daily routine that has stormed the internet. Firstly, if you haven't yet read Orlando Bloom's description of his regular day (below), then stop what you're doing and give it a read. Then maybe read it again. And if you're still baffled (which you probably will be) then give it a third read. From start to finish it is a barely believable or understandable account of the actor's daily routine. It involves Buddhist chants, collagen powders, and listening to Nirvana on hikes. All before 9am. Ever since Legolas/Will Turner took part in the Sunday Times's 'A Life In The Day' feature, people have been thinking about how it compares to their own days. Pete Otway may have delivered the best take yet, with an account that many will find far more relatable. He mentions the "blood curdling cry" of his 2-year-old daughter, lunch at 11am because that's when the McDonald's daytime menu starts, and doom scrolling. It's proven to be a far more accurate account of the average day for a parent in lockdown. https://twitter.com/PeteOtway/status/1373980950489538565 However one user did point out that whilst Otway's is undoubtedly funny, Orlando's has it "beat for comedy". It is difficult to disagree. The greatest comic minds of the country could not come up with lines such as "I sometimes look at a cow and think, that's the most beautiful thing ever". On a similar note, an honourable mention must also go to Bloom's fellow Pirates of the Caribbean actor Tom Hollander, who delivered his own unique 'A Life in the Day' back in October 2020. Safe to say it has a different tone to Orlando's... https://twitter.com/siansparkles/status/1312692500985937920