Count Binface declares ‘victory’ after pub hand dryer key to manifesto moved

Promises made, promises kept.

Known for appearing as an intergalactic bin, Count Binface has repeatedly called out badly positioned hand dryers in pub toilets, promising to relocate them as part of his political pledges.

He first made the commitment in 2019, when he ran against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge, vowing to move a dryer in the men’s toilets at the Crown and Treaty pub.

More recently, he turned his attention to the Great Himalayas restaurant in Southport while campaigning during the Clacton by-election against Reform UK leader Nigel Farage.

(Image source: Count Binface)

According to The Times, the restaurant’s hand dryer has now been moved, prompting Count Binface to declare victory.

Speaking to Metro, he said: “I am over your moon to discover that the hand-dryer at the Great Himalayas Restaurant has been moved.

“It’s a victory not just for me and the human men in Southport who will no longer suffer air-fried genitals, but also for the 9,455 people on Clacton who voted for my manifesto this summer and thus demanded this change.

“To have such a seismic impact before I’m even elected just goes to show what a total slacker Nigel Farage is. I hereby call on the Crown & Treaty pub Uxbridge to follow suit and move its dryer, to give Londoners similar respite and to prove that democracy isn’t finished yet!”

His battle continues in Uxbridge

The situation is rather different at the Crown and Treaty in Uxbridge, where Count Binface’s original hand dryer target remains exactly where it was. 

Installed directly above a urinal, the appliance has become an unlikely attraction, drawing visitors from across the country, including people making the journey from Somerset.

(Image source: Count Binface)

Pub co-owner Anu Sachdeva told Metro that customers still turn up to see the infamous fixture.

“Unfortunately, the hand dryer is still in the same position. But we still get the odd person coming to take a look.

“So we don’t want to take that joy from the public by disappointing some of our long-travelling guests by moving it to a ‘sensible location’.”

Anu and his brother Guna took over the pub in October, but the attention surrounding the bathroom appliance initially left them confused.

They had received the occasional prank call and social media comment about it, without knowing what had made the dryer such a talking point.

"These men came and told us about it, and then asked to put our ice bucket on their head so they can take a picture with it."