Alberto Moreno banished from Liverpool after asking about set piece routine for 100th time today

Reportedly losing patience with the Spanish defender lack of understanding, Jurgen Klopp today banished Alberto Moreno from Liverpool forever after the left-back asked about the club's set piece routine for the 100th time today.

The incident, which took place during a pre-match session ahead of today's crucial Champions League qualifier with Hoffenheim, reportedly occurred after three intensive days of set piece routine practice. Already low in spirits after seeing his team concede a late set piece goal at the weekend, Klopp is said to have grown furious at Moreno's persistent and near minutely questions regarding his placement, if he was allowed to handle the ball, and whether offside counts from free-kicks. According to sources present during the session however, it was the 100th utterance from the former Sevilla man that finally broke Klopp, and resulted in the German coach grabbing Moreno and sending him out of the Rhein-Neckar Arena on the back of a donkey, sitting backwards and with a potato sack covering his face.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you"

The source added that Moreno was one of many players playing "rock, paper, scissors" throughout the majority of the routine, before eventually asking the question which has likely ended his career with the club. "Let this be a lesson to all of you," shouted the former Dortmund coach after hearing Moreno whisper "do I stand here?" for the 21st time in seven minutes, before grabbing his shoulder and pointing at the rest of the squad. "I hereby banish you, Alberto Moreno of Seville, from Liverpool..... FOREVER! Let me never lay my eyes upon your face within the walls of our wonderful city ever again. Now, be gone!" Witnesses say that the declaration was met by shock among Moreno's teammates, with many of his defensive partners not returning to their hand game for well over 30 seconds afterwards. At press time, Klopp is said to have added a "bell of shame" around Moreno's neck in a bid to make all who see him aware of his heinous crimes.

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