“White witch” has devised a *guaranteed* way to prevent cruciate ligament injuries

We're not convinced by this solution to the cruciate ligament problem that has beset Burnley FC recently.

The Championship outfit have seen five players struck down with the devastating knee injury in the last 18 months, with Sam Vokes, Kevin Long, Dean Marney, Ashley Barnes and now Lukas Jutkiewicz all suffering the same problem. Normally you would put a run like that down to bad luck, or maybe dodgy pitches or incorrect training. All things you would think would be out of your control. But the club have been told that the run of injuries is not down to mere misfortune. Instead, according to a 'white witch' by the name of Kevin Carlyon, it's because of something rotten at Turf Moor,

"With all the injuries being the exact same it seems as if evil has been to work”.

He feels that if the club do not act now the the evil at work in the club will start to affect things behind the scenes such as their financial plight or maintenance issues within the grounds - we can't predict the future, but 'Kev the Witch' thinks he can. https://twitter.com/KevtheWitch/status/550744364247691266 To prevent the spread of evil Kevin performed an incantation to make sure the club will never suffer an cruciate ligament injury again. Helpfully, he has allowed his incantation to be published in full in the Telegraph so others may learn the mystical ways in which reciting some words can stop you knee from buckling under you. The Clarets have yet to suffer a cruciate injury since, so maybe there's something in all this. Sure, only two days have passed they haven't played a game since, but still, 60% of the time it works every time, right?