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14th May 2015

USA Soccer Guy: Bryan Munich and Coach Pip embarrassed in Euro Soccer Cup…

Soccer Guy

Barcelonia will face off against the Old Ladies in the Euro Soccer Cup Final in the German City of Berlin, Germany.

On Tuesday, Barcelonia denied Bryan Munich a trip to Germany, as they won 5-3 on the aggregization law.

The home franchise was already down by three when they welcomed the Spanish guys to the Alienz Arena, and knew that they had to play some out-of-this-world soccer to go win. And when the Barcelonia deefense seemed to get abducted after a few minutes, Bryan head-kicked their way to the first goalshot of the game.

Benatia

Just when Barcelonia looked like they were gonna mess up, the deadly duo of Messy, Swearez and Nate Mar combinized to insert a real important roadtrip goalshot. And a few minutes later, Nate Mar inserted again as Barcelonia looked to kick some Bryan butt.

Two to one down in the soccer game, five to one down in the tie, Bryan Munich fans knew that they were heading home and began to take out their anger on Coach Pip with chants of “Kiss my ass, Pip,” and “Go read some soccer coaching manuals, dork,” which were clearly visible to the ear.

It kinda worked as Bryan grabbed two more goalshots. But this was not enough.

Coach Pip, who once coached soccer to Barcelonia, was left feeling like the guy that left his wife for a real hot chick, only to find out that she was a dude.

FC Bayern Muenchen Press Conference

The next day, in the San Diego Bernabowl, things were looking pretty great for Barcelonia’s EPL Spain rivals early on.

Having already got their own roadtrip goalshot in Italy, an early deathstrike from world soccer MVP Cristiarnold Ronaldo meant that Real Salt Lake Madrid were shouting down from the top of Mount Awesome as they looked to follow La Decima with La Decima 2.

But these Old Ladies were not in the mood to be mugged…

In the second quarter, Mo Ratta kicked the soccer ball real hard inside the danger box zone and right into the net to put the Italian franchise in charge on the aggregization law.

Real Madrid CF v Juventus  - UEFA Champions League Semi Final

With time ticking on by, the Spanish guys knew that if they could score another goalshot, the score would change.

Jay Rodriguez went real close but the Old Ladies’ deefense was pretty good. Garth Bale’s head kick didn’t even force a hand denial from Buffet, and a bunch of songs saying some real mean stuff about him in Mexican rained down from the bleachers.

As the completion whistle was blown, the soccer game ended. A famous 1 to 1 win for the Italian guys who will now face off against Barcelonia.