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04th Nov 2018

Toni Kroos takes boring footballer tweets to the next level

Wayne Farry

Toni Kroos

Footballers’ tweets are generally very, very boring

Due to a variety of factors such as being tied to a number lucrative contracts which prevent them saying anything which could be remotely deemed as even slightly contentious, professional footballers tend to go for the same post-match tweet.

That varies between the extremely wide range which pretty much runs from “We must do better, onto next week” after a defeat or disappointing draw, or, after a win, “Great to get the three points today, thanks to the fans for the support”.

It’s shit and boring and makes footballers’ personalities appear about as interesting as a particularly boring artificial intelligence.

Toni Kroos generally bucks this trend, mainly down to the fact that he has a properly awful taste in music. The Real Madrid midfielder likes Robbie Williams in an unironic way and seems to actually think that the former Take That man is “the greatest entertainer of our time”.

As much as this damages Kroos’ street cred and makes him the footballing equivalent to a centrist dad, it does mean that the majority of his tweets are – if nothing else – going to make you laugh at him.

His latest post-match tweet though was a slight change of pace. The tweet in question came after Madrid’s first win in six games, a 2-0 home victory over Valladolid.

Kroos took to Twitter after the match and – I shit you not – tweeted the words: “We won a league game yesterday.”

Yep. That’s what he tweeted. Those six words. It’s almost impressive to be honest, in that it doesn’t even try to feign emotion or enthusiasm and simply states a fact.

If we didn’t know any better we’d think the monotonous nature of the tweet was some kind of thinly-veiled message about Madrid’s form, or perhaps he just looked at other pros’ Twitter accounts and decided to outdo them all and give the world the most white bread, tap water tweet of all time.