Sunderland player turns up 72 days late for work

Everyone is late sometimes, each and every one of us

Whether you're a couple of minutes late or an hour late, it's happened to each and every one of us at some point in our lives. It is with this in mind that we must urge you to cool your jets, do not judge Sunderland footballer Papy Djilobodji, who turned up to work this week 72 days late. Yes. That is correct. How can someone turn up 72 days late for work and get away with it, you might ask? Well, think about it this way - is it better to be late by one day when everyone will notice? Or is it better to be late by 72 days, by which point everyone assumes you are either dead, sacked, or simply allowed to spend that much time away? We assume that what happened with Papy Djilobodji was that he merely slept in one day and realised that, with every passing day, it had become more difficult to justify his turning up to work. That is of course until Sunderland decided to stop paying his wages of around £33,000, at which point Djilobodji realised that - you know what - he actually does want to start going for work. Sunderland are reportedly weighing up what to do next with Djilobodji, who we really hope arrived back to training without letting on that he had been away at all.