JOE readers' best and worst ideas for improving professional football
We asked for suggestions and, boy howdy, you did not disappoint
During the week there were a number of leaks printed by Der Spiegel in Germany and subsequently published by the world's media outlets regarding FIFA and world football in general.
Aside from the usual stuff suggesting impropriety by the eternally honest and principled people in Zurich, there was one leak which stood out to everyone: the fact that Europe's top clubs are strongly pushing for the creation of a European Super League.
The proposed Super League would see 16 of Europe's top teams featured, with 11 of them - known not at all creepily as "the founders" - guaranteed to avoid relegation with memberships of 20 years. The other five sides would be known as "guests".
So, yeah, it's a fucking dreadful idea designed to further fill the pockets of elite football's already very filled pockets, and it would almost certainly make football worse.
But it did give us an idea: what other proper changes could be made to football to actually improve it? So we asked you all. The responses ranged from really quite good, to clearly jokes, to ones which unfortunately were not jokes but still quite bad. We'll let you decide which are which. Enjoy.
After leaks emerged regarding plans for a European Super League, we want to know...
If you could make one change to improve professional football, what would it be?
— FootballJOE (@FootballJOE) November 3, 2018
Every fan in attendance should be handed one (1) cabbage upon entry inside the stadium
— Kyle Picknell (@kylepicknell) November 3, 2018
Linesmen should be able to stop balls that trickle out of play next to them. Not sure why but it’s always annoyed me that they don’t.
— Jack Sul (@jsul23) November 4, 2018
Every 10 minutes without a goal, release a bear onto the pitch.
— Jamie Gladden / 3songsnoflash (@3songsnoflash) November 3, 2018
No wearing gloves or crying on the pitch when you lose! https://t.co/BehpRDaWul
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) November 3, 2018
Both teams draw a ticket number out of a tombola drum after 80 mins. Whoever’s sitting in that seat MUST play the last 10 mins for them as sub.
— Jon Kershaw (@2jonkershaw) November 3, 2018
Real Time. Stop the clock. No added time needed. Works in Rugby
— Steven Lalley (@SteLalley) November 3, 2018
4 points for a away win. Would stop teams parking the bus.
— #JFT96 #19 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (@PointlessLFC) November 3, 2018
Stop booking players who take their shirt off to celebrate a goal!
— Dan Kidd (@k12ddo) November 3, 2018
Annual Europe vs South America game
— Jay (@jayan41) November 3, 2018
4 linesmen, each running half the length of the pitch, to catch more and make more accurate decisions.
— Tom (@TRJHobart) November 3, 2018
Speciality matches. Steel cage, tag team, hell in a cell, money in the bank, triple threat. Buried alive match would be interesting.
— Steven Brosnan (@Steven_Brosnan) November 3, 2018
Too much emphasis on goals. I'd have matches determined by the number of throw ins conceded in the opponent's half to clearing headers in the defensive third ratio.
— Finegan Gringleberry (@FinGringle) November 3, 2018
Let the euro super league happen. Be the only way the “big six” will realise they need the rest of English football more than they need them. Premier league gets more competitive.
Will also be funny to see them come grovelling back after a few years when nobody watches it.
— Nick Holmes (@Latheal) November 3, 2018
Maximum season ticket prices of £380 (adjust for inflation only, not increasing prices for profit margins)
— Owen Morris (@owenmorris_) November 3, 2018
Safe standing & cap ALL ticket prices to something affordable (£15 adults £5 kids) PL clubs don’t need gate money
— Danny King (@dannykingbiz) November 4, 2018
If someone is shielding a ball out of play and they don't attempt to play it. If the ref isn't calling obstruction then they are fair game for a 'tackle '
— Twigs (@ChrisTwigger2) November 3, 2018
Penalties to be taken from where the offence took place. Gets rid of running to the bi-line to “draw” a foul. Players deserve a kick for that. Or only give a penalty if foul committed in the act of shooting.
— Tivoli Poo (@tivolipoo) November 4, 2018
A goalless draw is 0 points for both sides and league position is based on goals scored not goal difference
— Krieg 🏴 (@Krieg___) November 3, 2018
Remove transfer windows. Go back to allowing signings at any time.
— TheSportsDean🎯 (@TheSportsDean) November 3, 2018
As @rioferdy5 was touting a few years back. A North V South “Premier League All Star game” akin those played in the NBA would be great.
— Dick Byrne (@fr_dick_byrne) November 3, 2018
Sin-bins for; 'simulation', mouthing back at the referee, and outfield players wearing gloves!
— Stuart B (@stu_db) November 3, 2018
Change the shape of the penalty area. It is far too big and unfair
— Jack (@JackMurray2) November 3, 2018
So there we have it. Some of the suggestions are decent and some are, well, let's just say that we hope none of you ever find yourselves in positions of authority within football.