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20th Jan 2017

Spurs’ new stadium will have a cheese room for some reason

Say cheese!

Tom Victor

Tottenham Hotspur’s revamped White Hart Lane stadium will have everything you need from a modern football ground.

61,000 capacity. Glass panels. Great views of the pitch. Cheese room. Exciting top-level football.

Wait, did we say cheese room? Yes, dear reader, we did.

The Guardian‘s Amy Lawrence has shared details of Spurs’ exclusive “H Club”, coincidentally releasing the information on what we have just discovered is National Cheese Lovers’ Day.

‘A £15,000 joining fee – and any client must buy a pair of tickets – will put any takers back £30,000 before watching even a minute of football,’ Lawrence writes.

‘It includes the kind of attention to detail that offers a cheese room for clients to select their own specially sourced half-time cheeses.

Tim Boyle/Getty Images

We can only assume that the people who devised the new stadium were given a detailed brie…f.

It’s all part of their plan to become the gratest team in the land, but will the fans really give edam?

It surely helps to provide fans with an alternative when they camembert the football on show, but we imagine they had to tread caerphilly when running the plans by the board (The cheese board? No, we’ll stop).

Perhaps its an homage to former manager and fan favourite Tim Sherwood, who ‘famously’ once told The Guardian he was a fan of mild cheddar and no other cheese, explaining “I don’t get involved in the rest of that muck”.

Then again, Sherwood once took on an in-form Sergio Agüero with a centre-back pairing of Michael Dawson and Vlad Chiricheș, which is more Cheestrings than finest chèvre.

Feature: Shaun Botterill / Neilson Barnard / Getty Images

 

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