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11th Apr 2015

Soccer Guy’s hot take on the Manchester franchise derby – most goalshots wins

The eyes of the soccer world will be looking right at the English city of Manchester, England on Sunday.

As well as sounding kinda like some real neat bars, Man Unity and Man City are two of the most winningest soccer franchises in the English EPL League. On Sunday, they face off against each other to see who’s gonna go win at soccer.

For a real long time, red uniformed Man Unity dominized the soccer scene in the city that gave the world the Beatles. Their players racked up EPL World Championship ring after EPL World Championship ring under the soccer coaching of Scotch soccer coach St. Alex Ferguson.

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Over on the blue side of town, Man City Franchise Club were pretty lame. Like some fat kid on prom night, they watched on as the guys from the Old Trafford Center won a bunch of cups. But it would not stay this way forever.

Before it was time for St. Alex to go hang up his coaching manuals, things started to change in Manchester. Man City Franchise Club’s Abou Diaby owners had totally had enough of goofin’ around with their EPL franchise, and bought themselves a ticket to Awesomeville by starting up their own MLS franchise. With the creation of NYCFC, suddenly a whole bunch of soccer fans knew who the Manchester blues were. The full moon was rising.

With Coach Roberto Mankini setting up their plays, Man City Franchise Club went and won their first EPL World Championship in 2012 when an overtime Sergio Agwearo goalshot against Queens Power Rangers took the EPL cup off the Soccer Satans.

Agwearo celebrates his goalshot against Queens Power Rangers

The next year, Coach Roberto Mankini got his ass fired as RSVP’s goalshots shot the Unity to another EPL crown.

Then, St. Alex quit to go do something else and was replaced by Coach Moyles. Under Moyles, the Unity put up the lamest deefense of an EPL World Championship ever known and the Man City Franchise took it back.

As the Unity have started to get their sorry asses back to doing kinda good with players like Marijuana Felony showing way better than last year, Man City Franchise Club have been doing not great. Losing a few times already, they head to the Old Trafford Center behind the Unity on the EPL board.

But when the clock strikes soccer o’clock on Sunday, both franchises will know that if they can score more goalshots on the day, they’ll probably win the game.