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12th Apr 2015

Soccer Guy: Manchester Unity silence real loud neighbours

Soccer Guy

Manchester Unity silenced the real loud neighbours as they beat their asses 4-2 at soccer at the Old Trafford Center.

Despite owning the Blue uniforms, the Unity totally sucked to start out. Just eight minutes into the first quarter, it seemed like the Unity deefense were still on their spring break vacation as Sergio Agwearo inserted the soccer ball right into the home franchise’s net.

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But a few minutes later, the Unity made the equalization. The soccer ball Rick O’Shead around in the Man City Franchise Club danger box zone before Ashton Young kicked it real hard to tie it up at ones.

Suddenly, the Unity were like a wave of soccer awesomeness, getting everyone real wet as they surged forward. Marijuana Felony, a complete soccer douche for most of last year, head kicked the Soccer Satans into the lead after Ashton Young’s cross pass.

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In the second quarter, the Unity continued to dominize. Vincent Company, who had nearly got himself a major felony card in the first quarter, had got hurt and decided not to play no more.

With a new deefense guy playing deefense in the City deefense line, the Unity played some more nice plays. Joe Heart had already failed to make the hand denial for the other two Unity goalshots and on 67 minutes, Juan Matter made it a triple Heart bypass.

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When Biggie Smalling scored another, it was looking like all-you-can-eat-buffet of goalshots for the red guys.

Despite this, the away franchise tightened up their deefense. Radical Falcao came outta the sub shack for the Unity but could not penetratize for goalshot number five.

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Right before the overtime verdict tablet was erected, Agwearo got another, but nobody really cared. The Unity fans jumped about and sung a bunch of soccer songs about how much Man City Franchise Club sucked.

For the Unity, this was a humongous win as they try and confirmize a slot in the EPL League’s awesome foursome for next year.

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For the guys from a few blocks down, things are looking pretty bad. A Sex Fabregas goalshot against the Queens Power Rangers in London before almost guaranteed that their EPL World Championship crown is gonna go some place else.

The soccer Coach San Pellegrino’s guys used to play was sparkling but has now gone flat. After a day of pain right round the corner from their own zip code, many feel that their soccer coach’s ass is about to get fired by the Abou Diaby owners.

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