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Fashion

22nd Mar 2019

A thorough investigation into Raul Meireles’ latest outfit

Wayne Farry

Meireles is a man unconstrained by society’s sartorial limitations

Whether you like Raul Meireles or whether you loathe him, you cannot ignore him. Whether it’s his enormous beard, his extensive range of tattoos or his general style, he is a very noticeable man.

Now, generally, I’m all in favour of this. This isn’t about me, but I am a fan of his. He’s a cool guy, he wears whatever the fuck he wants and he doesn’t appear to care what people think.

He recently appeared on a Portuguese lip syncing show and did this (below) and frankly, it was a tour de force.

Raul-Meireles

Everyone has their limits though. Buzz Aldrin was absolutely great at going to the moon, but he’d die in no time if he tried to venture over to Mars. Bill Gates is a killer when it comes to computers, but can he run a marathon? Probably not.

Meireles can wear almost everything and look extremely cool, but can he wear the outfit below? No fucking chance mate.

Appearing at an event during the week alongside normally dressed men including Jose Bosingwa, Robert Pires, Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Hierro, Rio Ferdinand, Bruno Alves and Hugo Almeida.

View this post on Instagram

Team?

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

Meireles, a fan of an unusual outfit, has turned up to the same event wearing what can really only be described as a fucking massive jacket, and we have questions.

What is going on? That’s the main query in truth. Did he pop over to David Byrne’s house for dinner one evening and take a little gift home with him without letting Byrne know?

Has he been living in fear for the last few months that Byrne will turn up at his house stomping from side-to-side in one of his remaining oversized jackets? Potentially.

Or, and this is more likely, is Meireles – and has always been – two five-year-olds standing on each other’s shoulders, like they’re trying to sneak into an adults-only premises?

It’s sounds ridiculous, but look at him/them. Crucially, look at the hands.

raul meireles

These are not an adult’s hands. They are the hands of a scheming child. I cannot tell if it’s the top or bottom child, but it’s one of them, for sure. It’s the hand of a child not sure how he has gotten this far without being caught, not sure how he has had an entire career standing on his mate’s shoulders, without either of them falling over in public.

It’s the hand of a child who knows he and his/her mate fucked up in wearing the one outfit that makes them look like exactly what they are: two children standing on each other’s shoulders. They know the net is closing in.