Imagining which Premier League clubs WWE wrestlers should support

Whenever WWE touches down in the UK, Triple H loves to proclaim his new-found love for West Ham United. His reason for supporting the club is simple, if tenuous – his signature weapon was a sledge hammer, so it’s only natural that he’d support the Hammers. Since revealing his allegiance in 2015, he’s got his name on the back of a Hammers shirt, visited the London Stadium, and even recorded a message of encouragement for Slaven Bilic’s players (though it hasn’t done them much good this year tbf). https://twitter.com/tripleh/status/877229018348736513?lang=en A few of the British and Irish guys on the WWE roster are known football fans (Neville supports Newcastle and Sheamus is a Liverpool fan). But what about the other wrestlers? Who should they support? WWE are touring  the UK next week, with Raw and Smackdown both live in Manchester, so here’s a long, hard look at which teams the likes of Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens should go and see while they are here.

Enzo Amore – Arsenal

Enzo Amore, on Arsenal Fan TV, screaming at Claude, saying that Arsene Wenger finished top four in 19 out of the last 20 seasons, and YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT. Enzo Amore, who wouldn't shut up about how Yaya Sanogo was gonna be the real deal. Enzo Amore, recording a track with Lethal Bizzle and Emmanuel Frimpong when they won the FA Cup. Enzo Amore, the human Arsenal bants Twitter account. It's all too real.

Baron Corbin – Leicester

‘Lone Wolf’ Baron Corbin used to support Wolves, but then realised that the Lone Wolf shouldn’t really fraternise with other wolves, as it would invalidate the ‘Lone’ part of his nickname. So now he supports the Foxes, as foxes are similar to wolves, but sufficiently different enough for him to still be on his lonesome.

Sami Zayn - Crystal Palace

Ok, in truth, if the ska-loving ultimate underdog actually supported anyone, it would probably be St Pauli, or maybe Clapton FC. But if he's got to have an EPL side, it would definitely Palace. He probably wouldn't have much of an opinion on Hodgson. He would however be very insistent that you know that he is an 'ultra', and probably have a flare that he would skank smugly with every time Zaha scored.

Kevin Owens – West Brom

I can totally imagine KO and Tony Pulis having a bevvy after the game, for some reason. Both down to earth, results orientated, and not afraid to bend the rules when needed. I can even go as far as seeing Owens playing centre half for Albion, and taking out some tricky South American when no one's looking.

Roman Reigns - Man City

Really, if football made sense, Manchester City should have probably won every title since 2012 with the players they've had. It's kind of the same way that Roman Reigns should now be the biggest star since The Rock. Roman, turning up at the Etihad, in his Augero shirt with the price tag still on it, expecting them to win the league. In football, like wrestling, no one likes entitlement (In fairness, I can also see Dean Ambrose as the sort of affable Manclad who's supported them since the days of Georgi Kinkladze).  

John Cena - Man Utd

Of course, John Cena would support Manchester United.

Cesaro - Stoke City

The 'Swiss Superman' supports Stoke because of Xherdan Shaqiri. As do most Swiss people, I presume.

Rusev - Newcastle United

If Rusev wasn't a WWE Superstar, he'd be at St James' week in, week out, topless whatever the weather, on the piss and singing his heart out, while Lana got herself dressed up, and then they'd go out on the lash. And they'd be the happiest couple in the world.

Shane McMahon - Chelsea

The moneyed offspring of a billionaire? Yeah, Shane would definitely fit in in Kensington and Chelsea. Plus, he has prior experience of "The Chelsea Football Club”.

Rich Swann – Swansea City

205 Live cruiserweight Rich Swann would definitely support Swansea, for obvious reasons.

Kane – Tottenham Hotspur

A couple of years ago I was lucky enough to get corporate tickets to an episode of WWE Raw at the o2 in London. To illustrate how good our seats were, Wilfred Zaha was in the row in front, and Rio Ferdinand was two rows behind us. As these were the corporate tickets, there were quite a lot of guys there who’d obviously got free tickets from work, and went along for a lark, despite clearing have not watched wrestling since they were teenagers. This meant they only recognised the older guys – they cared not for Seth Rollins or Cesaro, but popped massively for Kane. They were so excited, they started singing “Kane, he’s one of our own!”, like the Spurs fans sing about Harry Kane. They then continued to sing this for the entirety of the rest of the show, regardless if Kane was in the ring or not. I’d like to imagine Knox County mayoral candidate Glenn Jacobs heard this, and someone thought that Spurs fans sing about him every week, and therefore became a die-hard Tottenham fan.

Dolph Ziggler – Liverpool

You might think Dolph Ziggler and Liverpool go together because they are both perennial mid-carders with a lot of fans who never seem to be able to make that big push and win the big one. But actually, Dolph just really likes John W Henry.