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Football

14th Apr 2018

Hector Bellerin needed only five words to absolute rinse Harry Kane

Why is he getting involved? Because he's Hector Bellerin. That's why.

Kyle Picknell

The roasting continues.

Harry Kane has been having a tough time of it of late, getting universally eviscerated on social media following his claiming of a Christian Eriksen goal that he didn’t quite manage to get his slicked back hair follicles on to steer into the net.

In doing so he has made his intentions of securing a third Premier League Golden Boot – awarded to the top goalscorer at the end of the season – very, very clear. He will do whatever it takes. With Mo Salah currently playing out of his mind, he has resorted to drastic measures.

He will even take legitimate goals from his teammates. He doesn’t care. He isn’t arsed, at all, he just wants goals, goals, goals, and, yeah, you guessed it, more Brylcreem.

Today Hector Bellerin piled in on the Spurs striker too, just for good measure. After nutmegging teammate Alexandre Lacazette in training he was quite clearly delighted, whilst poor Alexandre was overwhelmingly embarrassed; it’s never nice to get nutmegged at the best of times, let alone by a ponytailed fullback who regularly and unironically attends fashion shows.

He desperately scrambled to try and recover from the ignominy after the incident reached Twitter, and, initially at least, he failed.

But, like all good teammates, Hector was there to save the day and divert absolutely all of the joke away from his poor open-legged striker and dump it all in a big stinking heap onto Harry Kane.

Five words, and he doesn’t even need to say his name. It’s petty, it’s unnecessary, but it’s absolutely beautiful. Never change, Hector. Never, ever, change.

As for you Harry: yeah I’m quite enjoying your relentless, Ronaldo-esque desire to have a mind-boggling goals record. Keep it up, too.

The Barclays will never be defeated.