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17th Oct 2016

Garth Crooks has picked four – count ’em, four – defenders in his team of the week

Who are you and what have you done with Garth?

Tom Victor

Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week selections have made the former striker a figure of fun in some parts, but it feels as though he’s started to bring people back on-side.

Not only has the pundit begun setting up his teams in functioning formations, but he’s begun picking – wait for it – players who didn’t even score in the weekend in question.

Crooks has performed a genuine volte-face, going from this abomination (honestly, we’re not even going to dignify it by calling it a team) to a fully functioning 3-4-3.

He’s given some indication that he’s watched all nine of the weekend’s games, rather than just look at a list of which players scored, and fair play to him.

Two wide forwards supporting a central striker. Two wing-backs who actually played at wing-back in the week in question. One of those wing-backs being a recognised full-back, bringing the number of defenders up to a whopping four. A balanced central midfield pairing. Something’s not right.

Where’s the other four number nines? Where’s Mesut Özil holding in front of two full-backs and a converted midfielder? Where’s the outragous non-sequitur designed purely so he can hurl abuse at Alberto Moreno.

We’re not sure we like Garth 2.0.

Still, even the most competent of Crooks’ selections has come in for criticism, because we’re dealing with football fans on the internet.

https://twitter.com/LAshley_96/status/787770917199945728

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Garth Crooks