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15th Jul 2018

Supporters can’t believe that D.C. United’s Wayne Rooney programme notes are real

Rooney made his MLS debut this weekend

Darragh Murphy

Wayne Rooney has been described in many ways over the years but this must be a new one for him.

Rooney made his debut for new club D.C. United on Saturday night, when he came off the bench for the final 30  minutes of their 3-1 victory over the Vancouver Whitecaps.

The 32-year-old set up teammate Paul Arriola for his second goal of the game and looked well on his way to returning to the sharpness which saw him finish as Everton’s top scorer last season.

Rooney insisted that it was the Toffees’ decision to let him leave even before new manager Marco Silva arrived on the scene.

“For whatever reason, I still don’t know,” he told ESPN. “I felt I was doing OK. I was top goal scorer playing most of the season from midfield, so…

“Everton made it clear towards the end of the season that they’d be happy for me to leave. But that’s football. That gave me a decision to make, and I made this decision.”

Having spent the entirety of his football career in the northwest of England, moving Stateside will represent something of a culture shock for Rooney and he’s already seen how different the vernacular is.

The programme notes for his first D.C. United appearance are like something straight out of USA Soccer Guy’s mind and some supporters couldn’t believe they were genuine, with particular highlights being the claim that he has “been known to deceive goalkeepers by finessing shots across the goal line,” and the description of his time in the “European Premier League.”