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Published 10:02 16 Mar 2018 GMT
Updated 10:23 16 Mar 2018 GMT

"What did I think of Manchester United versus Sevilla? It was a great game. That's what the Europa League is all about."
*takes a big fuck-off sip* "Salah cost roughly the same amount as Victor Lindelof? Can somebody check that? He did didn't he. Yeah, he did."
"Champions League draw? What Champions League draw? Ohhh. That Champions League Draw. I might try and catch it yeah."
"Playing for a 0-0 away from home in Europe? *spits out coffee* Hey, Bobby. Bobby! How many away goals did we get at Porto again? Was it four? Five? Five. Yeah it was wasn't it. And a clean sheet. Good times." *gently lifts mug to lips*
"Ah, you think playing former Aston Villa wingers at full-back is your ally? You merely adopted the tactic, I was born in it. Moulded by it!"
"Jose, just so you know Dejan Lovren could be available in the summer to help shore up your defence. For the right price, of course."
"He lives in a hotel? Oh. I live in a big house with my lovely family."
"I would never count the Charity Shield as a major trophy, but that's none of my business."
Liverpool fans, needless to say, were loving it.
https://twitter.com/lauraw97_/status/974409491574853632
https://twitter.com/PED7/status/974407948586844165
https://twitter.com/stuarttomsdad/status/974407862633066496
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