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Published 21:17 16 May 2018 BST
Updated 21:20 16 May 2018 BST

I know it's impossible now, I know it can't be done, but get this man on the plane, get Jonjo Shelvey on the plane, get Joe Hart on the plane, get Crouchy on the plane, get Gazza on the plane, manning the trolley down the aisle, and let's just all have a bloody good laugh shall we? Who cares about beating Tunisia and Panama and Belgium anyway?
Let Jacky Boy and Jonjo lead us on the tear-up, and let's never pretend we're going to win an international football tournament again.Explore more on these topics: