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28th Sep 2016

Emotional Big Sam tells Sky cameras: “Entrapment has won”

Broken man

Nooruddean Choudry

A clearly emotional Sam Allardyce has faced the cameras for the first time.

Broadcasting live to the nation on Sky Sports News, Big Sam, now ex-England manager, spoke of him sadness at having to relinquish the managerial job he had coveted all his professional life.

He looked tired and disheveled as he approached the media throng, in a white Adidas polo shirt that had seen better days.

His garment, possibly bought at 50% off the recommended retail price from Sports Direct or another sports discount store, served as a metaphor for his England nightmare. Stretched out of shape, unbuttoned to the chest, and revealing far too much.

He described his behaviour during the Telegraph investigation as a “silly thing to do” and an “error of judgement”, before claiming that “entrapment has won on this occasion and I have to accept that.”

When asked if it was his last job in football, his face resembled one of a recently bereaved bulldog chewing on an angry wasp, as he responded “Who knows…”

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