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20th Apr 2017

Eamon Dunphy bizarrely slates Juventus despite progression to Champions League semi-finals

If you've got nothing nice to say...

Darragh Murphy

Eamon Dunphy has finally done it.

He’s reached peak curmudgeon.

One of football’s favourite grumps continues to offer his cranky analysis to Irish television station RTÉ but now he’s reached the stage where he can’t even praise the winners of a tie.

Granted, the producer would have been grateful for Dunphy’s presence on Wednesday night because, with no goals in the second leg of the Champions League quarter-final between Barcelona and Juventus, there wasn’t a whole lot of things to talk about on the panel.

But while the game was taking place, Dunphy was busy scribbling his list of donkeys who are currently plying their trade at the Serie A side which put in a pair of stunning performances against Barca.

A clinical first leg was followed by a masterclass in defending a lead as the most dangerous attacking trio in world football was forced to feed off scraps in front of their home crowd.

However after criticising the Catalan giants, Dunphy couldn’t find any time to offer a nice word for Juve as he described them as a team of donkeys.

The counter-attacking prowess of Juan Cuadrado in Barcelona wasn’t enough to convince Dunphy that he actually might be a decent player while Mario Mandzukic was also written off.

Dunphy failed to acknowledge that Gonzalo Higuain has found the net on 29 occasions this season as he too came in for bizarre criticism.

“They’ve been beaten over two legs by a Juventus team with a number of pretty ordinary players in it,” Dunphy said, providing much-needed filler for the programme.

“Cuadrado, who failed at Chelsea, lasted about four months. Mandzukic is a bit of a donkey.

“Higuain is an expensive donkey because he scored a lot of goals for Napoli… Dani Alves!”

Dunphy was then interrupted by an altogether fairer and more rational Liam Brady, who attempted to defend the Old Lady.

But Dunphy was not to be denied his moaning.

“Hang on, I haven’t finished listing the donkeys,” Dunphy continued.

“Khedira. Sami Khedira played tonight. It’s news to anyone watching this programme that there was a man called Sami Khedira was playing tonight. He’s a German international but he never got a kick of the ball tonight.

“So they are losing to a team like that who didn’t even score a goal against them tonight. I backed Juventus to win the Champions League a while ago, but I don’t think they’ll win it any more.

“I was disappointed in them tonight.”

Fair enough, Eamon. Whatever you say.