
Share
20th July 2016
05:27pm BST

Now let's do what we refer to in the industry as 'zooming in'...
This may not look like much - just a really blurred image of indistinguishable scrawls - but that's because you're not professionals like us. We've used all the expertise in the office (and a lot of squinting) to work out exactly what it says. And here it is...
If you can't quite make it out, it reads:
ale and poo. gulf a lemonade Fortitude few pram I'd doubt! eating it bling/tabooFascinating we're sure you'll agree. Of course the exact meaning of these notes is a matter of conjecture, but we think we've cracked it. Basically, 'ale and poo' refers to how disjointed United were last season - playing as if they were drunk, in a style that was constipated. There is a 'gulf' in class that the side will have to overcome, and they'll need to show all effervescence and fizzy energy of 'a lemonade' to do it. No more static play or rigid formations. 'Fortitude few' should worry the current squad. Jose is basically saying that a very few of the personnel he has inherited exhibit the fighting spirit he demands of his players. As for 'Pram I'd doubt!', it will concern United fans that the new boss places so little emphasis on youth development at the club. That said, the note 'eating it' is clear expression of how hungry the former Chelsea manager is for success at Old Trafford, whilst 'bling/taboo' is a veiled message to the likes of Memphis Depay and Adnan Januzaj to focus on their performances on the pitch rather than the spoils of success off it. Perhaps Mourinho will be a little more careful in future - especially with our expert eyes on his every move! Want to win a free TV or iPad? Enter the draw to win one by taking part in this quick survey.
Explore more on these topics: