Liverpool have announced their second signing of the summer with the capture of Burnley’s Danny Ings, subject to a successful medical.
The deal was masterminded by Liverpool’s new Director of Football, who is better known for his political career and pint-holding background – Nigel Farage MEP.
In a major shake-up of the backroom staff at Anfield, owners Fenway Sports Group have installed the former current former leader of UKIP to oversee transfer strategy.
It goes someway to explaining the Merseysiders’ current strategy of only signing committed, functional and homegrown players such as James Milner and now Ings.
“You’re not telling me that the Great British player isn’t every bit as good as their continental counterparts,” said Farage, whilst pulling a pint at the local Arkles pub.
#LFC are delighted to announce that a deal has been agreed to sign striker Danny Ings, subject to a medical. pic.twitter.com/REoM9qGi9F
— Liverpool FC (@LFC) June 8, 2015
“I’m sick and tired of fancy dan foreign types like Luis Suarez, Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano ruining our national game with their well-honed technique and skills.”
Farage went on to say he would be selling foreign-sounding players like Adam Lallana and Jordon Ibe, but was committed to keeping Sterling and staying out of Europe.
